The Hogwarts School Diaries, Part II
by retirw-motnahp
Summary: Harry loves who?
1. Chapter 1

Hey again all. This is the start of part two, I hope you all continue to read and enjoy! Please leave me a review and those of you who already have thank you so much for all your kind words and I hope you like the way this story plays out.

Phantom Writer

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The Diary of Ginny Weasley

Exams are finally over! Summer is here, and it only took forever! I can't wait to get out of this place! It's been a complete nightmare with out Harry here and I miss him so much. Since he disappeared so much has been done and said in this school that I wonder if he will ever come back. The Daily Prophet covered the story of Malfoy Manor being nearly burned to the ground and that Harry had something to do it, or so it implied. It said that Pansy had been killed by Lucius Malfoy and then Harry had killed him! But who knows if that is the truth or not but if so …how could Harry kill him? It's not that I didn't know he was a death eather, and he was the one to put Tom Riddles Diary in my cauldron my first year, but I never would have thought that Harry …my Harry would actually be able to kill someone.

And where was Draco in all this? No one seems to know, or no one has told the Daily Prophet at least. Rumors have been flying all around campus about the true events of that night. The Slytherin's were mad as ever, as I'm sure you could have guessed. They have even gone so far as to start attacking Gryffindors in the halls, but after the first attack on Seamus the D.A made sure it would never happen again, no one walks to classes alone. There has only been one all out fight between the Slytherins and the D.A it was the day after Seamus had been attacked, ten members of the D.A and fifteen of the Slytherins were set against one another on the grounds. Spells were going everywhere and had it not been for Dumbledore, Snapes and Mcgonogals arrival I do think someone would have been seriously hurt.

Since the Slytherins could no longer attack the Gryffindors they began attacking members of the other houses, not anything that would get them less than detention if they were to be caught but enough to scare Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs into asking to Join the D.A. We now have everyone in Gryffindor , 25 Ravenclaws, and 14 Hufflepuffs! Hermione , Ron, Seamus, Luna, Neville and I train the 7th and 6th years and they each have groups of younger years to train themselves. Ron and Hermione have really taken charge of the whole thing since Harry left, though it was only about a month, and everyone seems to really be inspired to work hard and want to stand together.

At our last meeting , last night actually, Hermione and Ron actually sort of threw a party for everyone, the Room of Requirement having expanded largely under the addition of so many people. Though I thought it was rather strange the room had an enormous circular table in the center of the room, but the center of the table was missing so it was more like a large ring with chairs around the outside. There were large banners hanging on each wall but none of them had only one house crest in fact they all had the Hogwarts crest with Hufflpuff, Ravenclaw , Gryffindor , and even Slytherin being respected in great detail. The kitchens had prepared a wonderful display of treats for us all and after everyone had gotten a plate full and taken their seats Hermione and Ron moved into the center of the ring, Hermione asking for silence as they stood in the center.

"Right, well…Thanks for coming everyone." Ron started , his face slightly red with all the apt attention he was receiving from all of us sitting around the ring table.

"Nice table, Ron!" Seamus cried out and raised his mug of butter beer to my brother to which Ron's face and ears became the color of his hair until Hermione gave a soft cough beside him and he came to himself.

"Actually the table was Hermione's idea…something about Merli—"

"I got the idea from King Arthur and the Knights of the Round table…he wanted everyone to feel equal…and that's kind of what I wanted, I wanted you all to know that no one here is better than anyone else and that we are united under Hogwarts now, not under house colors." Her voice was soft yet strong as it carried out over the crowed table , she has changed a lot since I first met her, and from the start of the year when she seemed so frail and frightened all the time, some how she was able to pull herself out of it and find strength again. I think it has a lot to do with Ron, since they are in love and are pretty open about it, I am sure she gets a lot of her courage to keep fighting from him.

"Right then, now tonight we just wanted everyone to kind of have a night to relax and have fun for a little while." Ron said after a few moments when he was sure that Hermione was finished.

"But we do want to urge you all to be on your guard this summer, we don't know what is going to happen or where everyone is going to be if something does in up happening. Try and remember everything that you have learned at school and here with us." She paused to look around the very silent table around her. "Those of you who are able to practice your hexes and counter curses, and those too young read , study…it is the only way to keep yourselves ready in case of an emergency."

At this a young Ravenclaw by the name of Evelyn raised her hand and Hermione acknowleged her by nodding at her.

"Are we going to be able to meet during the summer?" she asked in a soft slightly frightened voice.

"I have asked Professor Dumbledore about that and he said that he would be more than happy to supervise a meeting if we are able to set one up, but many of us here go on vacations while on summer so our numbers would be greatly diminished …but if you all wanted to meet--- "

A loud out burst of positive cries broke out over the crowd of people and Hermione and Ron both beamed at them around them.

"Well then, when we have found a place and time we will let everyone know one way or another." Hermione said with a smile still over her face.

That was basically the end of the meeting Hermione and Ron answered questions from people around the room, when someone asked of Harry was ever going to come back both Hermione and Ron looked as though they were not quite sure how to respond as the whole room broke into whipers. I left at that point, I didn't want to have to hear everyone talking about the rumors about what happened, or about where Harry is now, walking out the door I heard a whisper that he was in Azkaban for murdering Lucius Malfoy. But they wouldn't be that stupid would they? Put the saviour of the world in prison…they couldn't…how would they expect him to be able to fight Voldemort?

A few hours after the meeting I had just finished packing my things and was in the common room searching for a book that I had lost since before finals and hoped that I had just left it in their when Ron came into the room and basically cornered me.

"What are you doing?" he asked me with his arms crossed over his chest, the tops of his ears were a bit red so I knew he was mad about something despite how calm his voice sounded.

"Looking for a book….why? Something you need?" I asked in a patronizing voice not even bothering to look up at him, though I knew this would make him more upset I wanted to get right to what ever was bothering him and not have him beat around the bush with niceties.

"No… What are you doing with Harry?" he said , his voice growing a bit colder though he didn't move away from the wall. At this I looked up at him, I had actually honestly expected this conversation a lot earlier than now.

"What are you talking about? What is going on between Harry and I is none of your business."

"None of my business? Ginny you're not even fifteen yet and you're snogging him all over the place!" he was yelling now and I glared at him.

"And you're so much better right? You're only 16 RONALD and you're snogging Hermione…it is not your place to tell me what I can and can't do."

"I want you to stay away from him , Ginny. He is only going to get you hurt."

"He wont hurt me…he isn't like that…we care about one another." I said but was a bit stunned from how his voice had gone soft and he was looking at me with pleading eyes.

"I don't think he would hurt you…but it seems like everyone who ever gets close to him ends up extremely hurt or dead…and I don't want to see you like that…V-voldemort will use the people he cares about against him…just like he did with Hermione, remember? I am only trying to keep you safe…you're my only sister and ..I don't know what I would do if something happened to you." As he was speaking I had to look away from him and it wasn't until he pulled me into a tight hug that I had even realized that he had walked to me, or that I was crying a bit.

He patted me ackwardly on the back. "Ginny…don't cry." He said softly.

"Oh Ron, you don't understand…I..I love him…" I chocked and clung to my bother sobbing. I knew he wouldn't know what to say to that, but I had to tell him the rest.

"Ron…I…I need to tell you something….something that I know….you wont like…" I whispered pulling back away from him and keeping my back to him , I didn't want to see his face as I told him the truth, a truth that I didn't even have the courage enough to write down in this book before now.

"Ron…I was the one…who sent Harry the letter."

"What letter ? What are you---" he started looking very confused.

"The letter…from Dumbledore asking you to be friends with Harry…" My voice was shaking as was I. He was quite for a long time and I was too afraid to look at him.

"W…why? Why would you do that?" he asked through gritted teeth after a good few minutes, I could feel the complete anger in his voice that he was trying to control but having a hard time doing so.

"Because he deserved to know…I am tired of all the lies, Ron…aren't you? I should have told him the day I found out…But I didn't…and I hate myself for not telling him sooner, and for not having the guts to tell him in person."

"You should have let me tell him! He nearly killed him self because of that!" his voice rang in the common room and I was grateful that everyone else was still at the meeting in the Room of Requirement.

"AND WHAT DO YOU THINK HE WOULD HAVE DONE WHEN HE FOUND OUT LATER! WHAT WOULD HE HAVE DONE IF THE DEATH EATERS FOUND OUT BEFORE HE DID AND USED IT AGAINST HIM? IF YOU WERE REALLY HIS FRIEND AT ALL YOU WOULD HAVE BLOODY TOLD HIM YOURSELF IN YOUR FIRST YEAR!" I yelled, I was angry now and I was facing him as I did so, I know we would have been a sight if anyone would have walked in, red all over, yelling back and forth like ten year olds. Something I said must have stuck home because he suddenly looked ashamed and he turned around and walked out of the common room.

Though it had caused a huge fight between us I was very glad to get it off my chest, he is now the only one who knows that I was the one who sent it, besides perhaps Dumbledore since he sort of knows everything anyway. I know that Ron is going to tell Hermione but I guess I can't do anything but hope that they will understand that I had my reasons for it. I wasn't trying to hurt him I just wanted him to know before someone else used it as a weapon against him.

I don't know where we are going when we get off the train tomorrow, I know that Hermione is going home but Mom and Dad didn't write much detail as to where they were or where we were going to be going for summer, I hope that where ever it is that Harry is there and that he is alright.

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Diary of Ronald Weasley

The year is over, and finally I get to get away from all of these rumors and talks of war. We are on the Hogwarts Express now, riding back to Kings Cross, Hermione is asleep beside me. She is so beautiful and lovely when she is sleeping, so calm and relaxed, I don't see her like that often anymore. I haven't told her what Ginny told me last night about her sending Harry the letter from Dumbledore …I don't even know if I will I don't want to do anything else to upset her right now, she has come so far since she first got back to school.

Ginny and I have not spoken to one another since then and we avoid looking at one another so much that she decided to take a compartment on the train with some girls from her year rather than with Hermione and I, and I am grateful for that. Hermione is going home to her parents and I don't know if I will see her again this summer unless we find a place and time that we can hold a D. A meeting. I am pretty sure that I can convince mom and dad to let her and maybe even her family come and visit us this summer, then again that really depends on where we are staying. I do think that if the events of the past year are any indication that we will be spending this summer much like we did the last, in hiding.

Fred and George have written and promised to visit where ever we are staying this year, I never thought I would be happy to hear that they are going to be around, but I know that if anyone can cheer any of us up it's them.

Hermione's waking…I'll write more later.

Well I was more or less right… when we arrived at Kings Cross station Hermione's partents, Mom , Dad, Fred, George, Lupin, Tonks, and Moony where all there waiting on us and gave Ginny, Hermione, and my self many hugs and welcomes as we got off the train. Ginny instantly began asking about where Harry was and if he was alright but Moony quieted her none too nicely saying that they would not discuss that on the platform.

After talking for a good while with one another it was time to leave, gods I didn't want to let Hermione go as we hugged one another good bye. I felt her tears on my shoulder even before I heard her sob and I couldn't help but pull back and kiss her sweetly, earning us cat calls from Fred and George which made her laugh and blush brightly before hiding her face in my shoulder again.

"Don't worry…I am sure I will see you soon…" I whispered into her ear as we clung to one another.

"I know…being silly…I'm just…scared…I'm so use to having you right next to me all the time…"

"Shh…don't be scared…my dad put wards all over your parents house to keep you safe…we'll be together soon…I promise, even if I have to come to you." I said pulling back and giving her the best smile I could muster just then, which wasn't much considering I was on the verge of tears myself.

"Come on you two…it's time to go." Dad called from somewhere behind us and we finally pulled apart holding hands as we walked through the barrier and out to where Hermione's Parents car was parked. After another long hug I left her in the hands of her parents promising that I would see her soon and write her as soon as I got to where ever it was we were going to go.

While our little party headed back to Diagon Alley Ginny was talking excitedly with Fred and George about their joke shop while Moony talked to Lupin in a very horse whisper and my parents walked on beside me asking me simple questions about school and finals. Once in the Leaky Coldron we , like so many others took flu powder back to their homes. Moony went first, with his wand drawn , Lupin followed, then Ginny, and myself. Mom, Dad, Fred and George apparated to the burrow and arrived just after us.

"So , where is Harry? Is he alright?" Ginny blurted out as soon as our parents had arrived all pretense of the happy laughing young girl excited to be away from school and about to enjoy a long holiday was gone.

"Quiet…we wont talk about that now." Moony replied sharply.

"Well would you at least tell me if he is alive?" she asked in an exasperated tone throwing her hands up in the air as though she was going to have a fit if someone didn't tell her he was alive. I think that was the first time it really occurred to me that she had told me last night that she loved Harry, though I don't know why I would be surprised since she has had a crush on him since before she even went to Hogwarts.

"He's fine, Ginny." Dad said from behind me putting my trunk down beside the large family clock on which all but Charlie's , Bill's and Percy's hands moved to "home".

"Don't worry about him, dear." Mom said with a warm smile to her only daughter and I thought I could see something very sad in the way she said it as though she knew something…and it was killing her to be unable to tell us all. She looked tired, and old than she should and in that moment I felt horrible that I hadn't been more help to her in the past years.

With a great sigh Ginny nodded a bit, ignoring the stare that Moony was giving her, when she began to pull her cloak off Dad stopped her. "No…Ginny…we aren't staying." He whispered and looked at his wrist watch. "We are just a bit ahead of schedule." He muttered a bit and Fred and George nodded together.

Lupin whispered something to Moony who only nodded and moved outside, after a few minutes he came back in with an old sock, "Ah here we are…" he said, his magical eye spinning sickeningly fast in it's socket and I blinked at him and then at the sock. Couldn't they have picked something that didn't smell bad for a port key? I wondered.

My mom shrunk Ginny's and my trunk to fit inside her cloak, then let Pigwigon out of his cage and shrunk the cage as well.

"Everyone ready?" Dad asked with a half grin before moving around the table. Counting down from five and at one we all touched the very old dirty sock and we're transported to London. Since we had all been there before we didn't need anything from Dumbldore, the secret keeper for the Order of the Phenoix to get into Grimmuald place, all it took was concentrating on the address and the house appeared before us all.

We were greated by a very somber Tonks who , like my mom, looked like she had gained a few years and not a few months. She hugged and greeted us all in a whisper, not wanting to disturb the still hanging painting of Mrs. Black.

"I'm so glad you're here…" Tonks whispered to my mom, "He woke again a few hours ago but I still couldn't get him to say anything…or eat any thing…" she said in a sad rushed way.

"Harry's here?" Ginny suddenly gasped in a whisper turning to look at Tonks with expectant hopeful eyes.

"Yes, Mr. Potter is here…but I would think it best if all of you would come have a seat for a moment…there is something that we must discuss with both of you." Came Lupins voice as he headed down to the kitchen. Though Ginny opened her mouth to protest she closed it without a word and followed him down to the kitchen.

"I'm going to go put your things in your rooms." Mom announced to us and headed up the stairs quietly , I got the feeling that she was looking for any excuse to not have to listen to what Lupin was about to tell us.

Taking out cloaks off and taking seats around the table, Ginny looked worried and alert as she watched Lupin impatently.

"I am sure that the both of you read the article in the Daily Prophet about what happened concerning Harry about a month ago—"

"Yes but I doubt that's what really happened." Ginny said in a bitter tone.

"Settle down, Ginny." Dad said taking a seat beside her and giving her a comforting touch on her shoulder and giving her a warm smile.

"Actually, what the Prophet said was mostly the truth. Malfoy Manor was burned nearly to the ground but it was not Harry's fault in the least, no one is even quite sure how the fire started. Moony and I were there when the fight between the Malfoy's began."

"Malfoy'_s_ ?" Ginny asked with a raised eyebrow, her hands rung together nervously.

"Yes. Draco Malfoy was there as well and was dueling against Mr. Potter and Mrs. Parkinstson." Moony said in his growl like voice as he watched my sister. I was a bit surprised as an expression of shock came over her features and I wondered why she would be surprised that Malfoy had been fighting against Harry.

"Lucius Malfoy, in an attempt to kill Harry, missed…his spell however it Mrs. Parkinston and killed her. Harry then attacked and killed Lucius."

At this Ginny gasped and then covered her mouth and looked away as though she didn't want anyone to see her crying and I wondered why on earth she would be crying over him but before I could ask Fred beat me too it.

"Don't waste you're tears on him, Ginny."

"Yeah he got what he deserved if you ask me." George said after his brother both of their voices were cold and angry.

"Harry never wanted to kill anyone…" Ginny sobbed and Dad pulled her into a tight hug and I saw Fred and Georges expressions soften quickly.

"We know, honey…we know." Dad said rocking her back and forth like he use to do when she was smaller.

"A—are they going to take him to…azkaban?" She asked turning and looking at Lupin.

"No," he answered with a small curt shake of his head, "The ministry has confirmed that Lucius was a Death Eater since they found many Dark materials inside his home—"

"They had to search his home to figure out that he was a death eather? Wasn't attacking Harry and two Aurors enough?" Ginny said in an angry yet still sobbing voice.

"Shhh…calm down dear…it's alright…it doesn't matter how they decided that he was a Death Eater so long as they don't charge Harry with murder, right?" my dad asked in a soft voice to her and she nodded.

"Well I think it's about time you two got to bed, it's been a very long day for the both of you I am sure…no Ginny… I think it's a bit late for Harry to be woken right now but you can see him in the morning." Dad said before she could even ask to see him with a heavy sigh and a final sob she nodded and stood to leave dad walked with her but I stopped at the door.

"Professor Lupin?"

"Yes, Ron?"

"How did…Harry…ya know…Kill him?" at my question he tilited his head to one side and looked at me curiously.

"Does it really matter, Ron?"

"Well no…but…Ginny doesn't know this but I do…that even Aurors are not allowed to use Unforgiveable curses even if it is against a Death Eater."

With a resigned sigh Lupin nodded, "Yes, you are right about that….But Harry did not use an Unforgiveable…he attacked Mr.Malfoy while in his Animagus form."

My eyes must have gone wide for he then said, "You didn't know? About his animagus?"

"No…No…he didn't tell me…what…what is it?" I asked curiously.

"I'm sorry Ron, but he must have had his reasons for not telling you…I am sure that he will tell you himself one day….now go get some rest."

I knew I wouldn't get anymore answers out of him so I went up to the room where I had staied last summer with Harry and I wondered where in the huge house Harry was staying. My Curious mind wondered over what kind of animagus he could have that he could kill someone with? A dog? Trying to figure this out I wrote to Hermione but did not put in the letter anything that I had learned tonight incase the letter was to be intercepted. Tonks said that Harry woke up today but that he wont eat or say anything…


	2. Chapter 2

Hey everyone,

I know it has once again taken me a very long time to get another chapter up but I have once again been very busy. and if any of you have noticed that this part of the story is going a bit slow is because I had to get some of the techincal stuff out of the way before I could get to the next juicy scene! But don't worry one is in the works and on the way soon, so please be patient and keep reading!

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Diary of Ginny Weasley

Everything is so quite here, but it's not a calm quite but an eerie and forboding quite. Ron and I still haven't spoken since we arrived two days ago, Mom and Dad seem distracted and overly worried about things they don't speak of. Though I get the feeling it has a lot to do with Harry's condition. Fred and George come and go through out the day and were here for dinner last night and tried many things to make me and Ron laugh, mostly I would laugh just because I didn't want their efforts to be wasted. Oops it's time for breakfast…will write more later!

Oh Merlin….what is happening to me? After eating with Ron, Mom, Dad, and Lupin at breakfast mom asked me if I wanted to go and see Harry…and of course I did! I'm surprised she even had to ask. At his bed room door on the complete opposite side of the house Mom let me go in alone, and there he was sleeping. He was curled up tightly under the covers of his blanket and from the door I could just make out the mess of jet black locks from beside the pillow. Taking a deep breath, expecting the worst I walked to the side of his bed. I could feel him there, like a part of my mind was buzzing with the connection and the proximity to him.

"Harry?" I whispered softly and he did not respond. I tried again a bit louder but still he did not wake or make any motion that he had heard me. There was a small stool sitting next to his bed and I sat there just before reaching out to touch him.

At the lightest touch on his blanket covered shoulder he jerked awake and sat up suddenly in the large four poster bed. I retracted my hand quickly and couldn't control the gasp that flew from my lips as I saw him well for the first time in almost four weeks. His hair was longer and messier than ever, he was extremely thin so much that his cheek bones were showing from his pale skin, but it was his eyes that frightened and worried me for him. Once they were such a lovely emerald full of laugher , love and care and now they were wild with darkened tints of black and amber, those orbs had seed horrible things…things that I could feel just by looking into them.

He turned away from me in the bed.

"Harry?" my voice was broken as though on the verge of tears and I fought them mercilessly. He didn't answer, nor did he show any sign of answering. I knew it was pointless to try again. Closing my eyes I concentrated on the warm buzz in the back of my mind that I knew was his presence, the connection that we shared….shared….I sent to him all the love, caring , and concern I could gather. I felt him try to block it, he could keep me out of his mind but he couldn't break the connection…whatever it is….and I felt him tense and heard a soft sob break from his lips. He moved to the opposite side of the bed and put his head in his hands, his pale fingers running through this dark strands of hair.

Startled I just sat watching his shuddering back for a long time before I finally stood and walked to where he was and knelt down in front of him. I didn't touch him, some how I knew he didn't want to be touched.

"Harry…." I whispered again, but in a less urgent and more calm way. I felt the question and doubt in his mind and I sighed.

"Harry….please….you can't keep killing yourself over this…." I whispered my head lowering to examine my hands in my lap. I felt him more than actually saw him look up at me, but I did not return to look into those eyes of his.

"I…I know what happened…and I…I'm so sorry…but if you let this kill you then they've won…and everything any of us has ever done was for nothing…..but you can't let them win…you just can't Harry…." My voice faltered and I felt a tear run down my cheek despite how much I was fighting it. I hadn't meant to say anything quite so serious, I don't even know what my intentions were by trying to talk to him.

We sat there in silence for a long time, I felt his mind wondering, questioning…searching for answers that I didn't have and I felt ashamed and sorry that I couldn't help him.

Just as I was about to leave he finally spoke, "It's over …but this is not the end…" I looked up at his barely audible whisper, he wasn't looking at me but out the window , his eyes looked sad and like so many of the people I love around me he looked so much older than he truly was. I started to say something but nothing came out of my opened mouth as I sat there staring up at him.

He turned his head and finally looked down at me, his eyes were so cold, and sad…reminding me of Hermione when she first came back to school last year…so empty.

"You were right, Ginny…he betrayed me…." He said in a dark whisper, I was surprised to see a tear to match mine down his cheek. "He betrayed her too….and I couldn't save her…" he shook his head lightly and then rested it back in his hands like a man who had lost everything in the world, "I can't save anyone….I never can…"

"Oh, Harry…" I whispered as I moved to sit on the bed beside him longing to touch and comfort him.

"I…I killed him, Ginny…I can still…feel it…the way it felt as his pulse stopped—"

" But you had to—"

"No I didn't!" he said harshly and looked back at me, "I didn't have to…he should have gone to jail…but I…I killed him…and…Oh god Ginny I liked it!" he said moving away from the bed to stand at the window, his hands clinched into fists at his sides as he pressed his brow against the window. I watched him in confusion and shock, he couldn't have actually said what he just had, could've he? I noticed for the first time since I had walked into the room that he wore only a pair of baggy sleep pants and that he had several long cuts and greenish bruises across his back and side that must have been much worse a month ago.

"W..what do you mean?" I asked ,my voice shaking.

"I mean…that when I killed him….as it was happening…I …it wasn't disgusting…I…longed to make his heart stop…but afterwards….when I had…realized what I had done…I just…." His shoulders sunk and I felt his pain and sorrow…and his desire to have killed himself for taking another persons life, and for having been tricked and betrayed again leading someone else to be killed.

"Harry…" I gasped a bit shaking my head at his overwhelming emotions, "None of this was your fault." I said moving closer to him.

"How can you say that?" He asked not turning to look at me.

"Because it's the truth." I stepped right behind him and finally reached out to touch his bare shoulder and he finally turned around to look at me. "Because no one blames you….everyone knows that it was not your fault, Harry."

"I'm a murderer…and I put so many people at risk—" tears were now flowing slowly from his emerald eyes.

"Each and everyone of us knows and willingly accepts the risks of the lives we choose by your side….no listen to me---" I said as he started to turn back away from me and I gripped his wrist and pulled him back to me.

"You can't keep blaming yourself every time something like this happens…bad things are going to happen and many of them you can and never will be able to stop….no one blames you for anything...everyone is so worried about you---"

"Just because I am their saviour." He said bitterly.

"No…Harry…it's because we love you…." I said then bit my lower lip wishing I would learn to keep my mouth shut. "I don't love you because some damned seer said that you would save us all….I love you because you are a kind, generous, courageous and loyal human being. Mom and Dad have seen you as one of the family since you met Ron---"

"But Ron was only my friend because Dumbledore asked him to be…and you're parents knew about it….I know they did, I can read the guilt on them every time I see them…"

I couldn't help but smile a bit, "Harry they are guilty because they know that they should have told you about it…but they didn't want to hurt you…not to mention the fact that you were a hero to Ron before he even met you, he would have died to be your friend even with out the letter from Dumbledore."

"But I'm not a hero! I was only famous because Voldemort killed my parents and I survived….who wants to be famous for that?"

"No one harry but that's not my point…Dumbledore never asked my parents to let you stay here all the time, never asked them to care about you like they do, he never asked them to love you like they do….Harry no matter what you want to think my family considers you a part of it…and we wont just let you drown in some pool of depression and self doubt over something that was not your fault!" I said a bit loudly and he looked into my eyes with mild surprise before looking down at where my hand held his wrist.

We were both silent for a long time and I took a deep breath and finally released his hand and turned to leave him to his thoughts.

"Thank you, Ginny…." He whispered but he knew I would have been able to hear him.

"You're Welcome…I'll bring you something to eat in a little while…" I said before walking out the door. Once I closed it I leaned back against it and shut my eyes wishing that I would have had the courage to comfort him and fighting the desire to run back inside and pull him into my arms and tell him that everything was going to be okay, but I'm not even sure if it is going to be. We have lost so many people already. How many more will we have to lose before the end of this war?

I moved away from the door knowing that he could feel what I was feeling and I didn't want him to worry about me or the things that I am concerned about , he is already going through so much. I brought him a sandwich but he and I didn't speak as I left it on the desk in his room, he was still standing there staring out the window to the muggle street below that couldn't see him. I watched him for a moment, not even sure if he knew I was there or not.

Dinner time….Write more later…

At dinner tonight Mom and I were talking about a few spells that would help us clean out the attic up stairs when the door bell rang, making us all jump and for the portrait of Mrs. Black to begin screaming curses and vile things as mom cursed about telling everyone to not ring the door bell then told us all not to move as she went to answer it. All of us being Ron, Lupin , Dad and me who just chuckled and went back to eating the stew mom had made. When the door to the kitchen reopened I couldn't help but smile widely.

"Ahhhh!" Ron jumped up from his seat quickly as Hermione pressed her cold hands to the back of his neck, causing us all to laugh. When Ron finally saw who had scared him his expression changed faster than Tonk's hair color and he embraced his girl friend with a huge hug and even spun her around before she squeeled and fwaped him telling him to put her down. When he kissed her full on the mouth just as mom walked in I expected either her or dad to say something but they both just looked at them with strange and similar expressions and I felt a stab of pain in my chest. None of us knew what would happen in the coming months, letting those two have their happiness as long as it lasted was something that my parents wouldn't dream of taking away from them.

It made me long for Harry more than I knew I could long for some one and the small sharp pain in my chest grew steadily sharper. I wondered if I would ever love anyone as much as I loved him…would he ever love me? Would I ever be able to be with someone before I died in this war? But how could he ever love me? I'm not what he wants…am I just meant to be alone? Should I just forget about how much I love him ? Suddenly the pain grew stronger, as though something sharp had pierced my hear and I gasped audibly as it took over my chest and I unconsciously gripped my shirt and tried to move away from the table. Dad turned to me and I saw his face cloud with sudden concern but I couldn't really hear what he was saying to me.

There were little white stars in my vision , it was hard to breath as I finally stood from the table I fell back…gasping I moved past my brother and Mom tried to reach for me but I moved away from her , the pain was so intense there were tears in my eyes. I finally stumbled and was falling for what seemed like forever when he caught me. Everyone surrounded us but only his voice broke through the fog of my pain.

"Ginny…Ginny…" he called over and over in a sweet soft voice. I couldn't see him as my vision was consumed by black but I could feel him, in my mind and in my body, I could feel him. He was here with me…he had come to me. Slowly the pain ebbed away and my vision returned and there he was over me, looking into my face with utter concern. As I blinked a few times he smiled down at me relief spreading over his features.

"Hi…" I whispered and he smiled a bit and pulled me into his bare arms. I heard mom give a sob.

"Oh Ginny are you alright!" She exclaimed and as Harry released me a bit I nodded. Slowly he helped me stand up, keeping his arms around me as I felt sharp pain in my head.

"What happened?" Harry asked in a raspy voice next to me and I felt him look at the others in the room.

"We don't know…" Ron started, "Just after Hermione walked in the room she started breathing really hard and clutching her shirt like she was having a heart attack."

"No if she were having a heart attack Ron her arm would have hurt first." Hermione said in her usual bookworm way. "What? My dad is a dentist he had a lot of medical books around when I was a kid." She blushed.

"I'm fine…" I tried to say but the room was spinng.

"No I think you need to go lay down." Mom said in a flustered voice and I nodded which caused a fresh wave of dizziness and pain and I swayed in Harry's arms.

"I'll take her." He said and mom opened her mouth to object but quickly closed it, I guess it had something to do with the fact that Harry was still only half dressed. (Which I didn't realize till later, hehe). Anyway, he let me lean on him heavily as we made our way up the stairs. I can still feel how warm he was against me as we walked slowly up each step, I wish that my mind hadn't been so clouded by the residing pain so that I could have enjoyed it more. Once at the door to the room that I was staying at his god father s house he opened the door for me.

"Are you going to be alright?" he asked in his normal horse concerned tone as I tried my best not to look at him. I nodded a bit and tried to move in through the door on my own but I was still very dizzy and he ended up having to walk with me into the darkened room. Once I was able to sit on my bed at the center of the room I took a few deep breaths.

"Ginny…what..what is happening to us?" he asked after letting me go to sit and he stood in the darkness beside me. Suddenly I felt cold with out his arms around me and I sighed deeply before leaning back against my pillows.

"I…I honestly don't know.." I whispered into the dark just before he lit the lamp beside my bed. "You felt it didn't you?"

I asked looking up at him and I noticed the very distracted look in his emerald eyes , he wasn't even looking at me but at the dancing flame in the lantern. I smiled a bit as I admired the way the light highlighted the angles of his face.

"yes…" he said after a long moment of silence, "I can feel everything you feel…but only when you are near me…I could feel your emotions and sense your thoughts…but the actual pain I was only aware of…I couldn't feel it myself." He said as though not really talking to me but to himself as though trying to figure it all out.

"W…what do you think it means?" I asked, wishing my voice didn't sound so panicked.

He shook his head then and sighed deeply before moving to sit on the side of my bed.

"I don't know….but…what was it that caused you such pain….what were you thinking about? I know it wasn't anything good…but I didn't want to push into reading your actual thoughts---" he cut off then and looked at me with a strange expression, as though he had just finally figured something out

"What?" I asked tilting my head to one side as he just continued to stare at me and I felt my cheeks go flush with heat.

"I…you were thinking about me…" he said without question and I lowered my head as though slightly ashamed.

"Yes…"

"But why would thinking cause you physical pain?" he wondered his voice soft and dazed.

"I….I don't know….maybe—" I started but then broke off with a choking sound as I realized that a tear was falling down my cheek.

"What…what is it?" he asked and I could feel his eyes looking all over me as though he expected me to be clutching my chest in pain again.

"Nothing…it's nothing Harry…" I said finally with a smile and lifted my head with a fake smile, "I'll be fine…I think I am just going to go to sleep now… thank you for walking me back to my room." I said with another smile hoping that he would leave so I could cry in peace. He blinked a bit, surprised , but then nodded and stood to leave. Once the door was closed behind him I crumbled and let my tears fall freely. I know what I was going to say…maybe…maybe I was in pain because I just couldn't stand the thought of being with out him? Maybe it was because my heart was breaking….


	3. Chapter 3

Alright all,

Here is another chapter that took me forever to write. I just want to say that this one took forever because I kept re-writing it and it may verywell it rewritten again if I get bad reviews which I am expecting. In this chapter I have introduced a character that is not from the books at all, he is actually froma series of books; Magic's Pawn, Magic's Promise, and Magic's Price by MercedesLackey. I know this makes it sort of a cross over but trust me he wont have that large of a part other than what is described in the plot. Please read and review!

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Diary of Harry Potter

Why does time seem to drag on? Though it's not as if I am waiting for anything…or maybe I am ..maybe I am waiting for the day that all of this will really be over. For the day that I will stand before Voldemort and my destiny will be full filled and then I can move on. If I survive that is. I'm still here at Grimmuald place with the Weasley's. Hermione arrived two days ago and has been helping Mrs. Weasley with things around the house, she and Ron are also busy planning the next D.A meeting that they are planning to hold here. They asked me if I minded but there are very few things that I mind now a days. Dumbledore has given us permission to hold the meeting her in a few weeks and he, McGonagall, Tonks, Lupin, and Mr. and Mrs. Weasley are going to be the chaperons. I am just wondering how on earth we are going to get all of these students transported here without any death eaters finding out, but Dumbledore said to let him worry about it.

Ever since coming here I have been lost in a world of my deepest darkest thoughts and very stubbornly unwilling to return to a normal life, I just could not seem to pull my self together. My senses were so raw I could sense anyone in the house's auras at all times and I was totally unable to control it. Ginny even told me that I was some how transferring my sorrow, depression and anger to everyone else so much that the whole house felt dark.

That's probably why he came to help me, or why Dumbledore asked him to help me. The day after Hermione arrived , the same night Ginny had her panic attack, which is what Moony called it much to her displeasure, I was inside my room having just finished dressing when there came a knock on my door. Bidding them to enter I was startled to see a very handsome man with tan skin and long black hair, which contrasted greatly with the brilliant white of his clothing, standing in my door way. His eyes were a strange almost purple color and I felt drawn to them as much as I was drawn to the man.

"Who are you?" I asked in a cold tone, glancing at my wand on the nightstand beside my bed.

"Don't worry, I am not here to harm you." He said raising his hands to show that he was unarmed, his voice was calm and was like silk to the air around me. Something that struck me then was the fact that I could not read him, there was absolutely no aura coming off of this person, either that or he was able to hide it extremely well.

"Who are you?" I repeated again in a calmer, cooler tone, my eyes staying trained on this strange man. His eyes were looking over me as though studying everything about me and I wondered if he was reading my aura and my senses but if he was I couldn't feel it.

"You have a very interesting soul…Mr. Potter." He said , his musical voice ringing around me and I shook my head to clear it.

"You didn't answer my question." I said though I was trying to figure out why on earth this person was here and what was he talking about my soul for.

"Ah yes, forgive me…but there are more important things to discuss first…your Headmaster Dumbledore has…well in a manner of speaking, asked me to help prepare you for your future trails." He said taking a few steps into the room and he finally broke his eyes from me and looked around my room. I turned to which ever way he was walking to keep an eye on him.

"Ahhh…I see you two have met!" came a much too cheery voice from my door way, and I blinked in surprise. How hadn't I noticed his presence in the house before he came into the room? Dumbledore stood there with a wide grin over his features before moving further into the room, that annoying twinkle in his eyes behind his half moon glasses.

"What is going on? And who is this?" I asked with a firm glare at the headmaster who's grin only seemed to widen.

"This , Harry, Is Vaynel…he is…or I should say was the last Herald-mage of Valdamar." Dumbledore said turning with a grin to the white clad man before sitting in the small chair beside my desk.

I shook my head , I couldn't have heard him right. "A Herald?"

"Mage, Harry…" the white clad man said with a knowing smile, "It's what Wizards were considered long before this country was ever even founded."

"Then how are you---?" I started , none of this was making any sense.

"Come, have a seat Harry we have a lot of things to discuss." Dumbledore said continuing to grin widely at his friend and myself.

"No thanks…." I said crossing my arms over my chest, I didn't like this, there were too many things about this guy that I didn't know and too many questions were already starting to form in my mind.

Vaynel sighed beside the bed and shook his head with a small smile as though he was remembering something slightly and privately amusing. "Alright then…Valdamar was what England was called before there was any real recorded history…before B.C and before wizards used wands…" he began in his musical voice as he leaned against the wall behind him. "Now to those to search through the oldest and thickest books will see it mentioned as a legend…wizards who had companions…did not use wands for their spells…"

"Are you saying that you are from there?" I asked with wide eyes looking between the two as if they were both crazy.

"Yes…in a manner of speaking…I died a very long time ago , my spirit along with the sprit of my life-bond have guarded the forest since our bodies left his world."

"W..what forest?" I asked blinkingly.

"The forbidden forest, Harry." Dumbledore said, who was examining his fingernails for the moment. "I am sure you are aware of a presence every time you enter the forest…something inside your mind suggesting that you should not be there…."

Vaynel chuckled a bit , "Not every time, Albus….there are a number of occasions that this one has entered my forest under certain intentions." He said with a smirk at the headmaster.

"What?" I was now totally lost, how could someone's spirit be inside a forest? How could he have been there all along? How could he be here now?

"I told you there are many things that we must explain to you…perhaps it would be best to do so over dinner, yes?" Dumbledore suggested as he stood and headed out the door, "I do believe I smell Molly's famous meatballs." He said with a comical sniff of the air before moving out of the room, Vaynel shrugged and followed after him, leaving me staring after them dumbfounded.

"NO WAY!" Hermione exclaimed and nearly jumped from the table as Vaynel explained his story. All of us at the table turned to look at her in surprise including Vaynel.

"Are you saying that you have heard of me, then?"

"Mental…" Fred and George both said with raised eyebrows at Hermione who was now blushing lightly.

"Well…yes…actually …but…Valdamar wasn't suppose to have ever really existed….I mean…it was just a myth…or at least that's what I've always been told. I mean at least the part about the talking horses couldn't have been true."

"Companions….and they only mind spoke to their chosen…not to everyone around them." Vaynel corrected with the air of someone who had said that many times in his life time.

"So it was true…then…what about the Heralds…the Bards? Was there really a school for them here?" Hermione asked with an excited voice and wide eyes watching Vaynel with extreme interest as Ron glared at her and him.

"I still want to know where _you_ came from." Ron said in a cold tone that made Hermione a jump a bit and I watched her with interest for a moment.

"Well…as I told Mr. Potter here, my spirit was been guarding the forest on the grounds of Hogwarts for many hundreds of years---"

"But that still doesn't explain how you got here." I said with a raised eyebrow at him and I saw from the corner of my eye that Dumbledore smiled.

"We use to have a saying in Valdmar that when needed the gods would provide." He said with an airy tone as if he was thinking of something from his past.

"So you got you're body back because the "gods" thought you were needed." Ron asked with a skeptical voice and gave me an expression asking if I thought they were as crazy as he did.

"Well I do believe it is time to get something to eat, yes?" Dumbledore asked quickly and stood for a moment. Mrs. Weasley looked as though she was about to say something , probably about having not started cooking dinner yet, when the headmaster waved his wand and a large amount and varieties of food appeared on the table. This seemed to appease my always hungry best friend who instantly went eyes wide and dove into the food. Hermione only watched him with a disgusted and partly amused expression.

With a sigh I figured I wouldn't be getting anymore answers out of Vaynel at this moment so I turned to go back to my room, now very confused and not the slightest bit hungry. Ginny was standing out in the hall waiting for me.

"Are you alright?" she asked with a timid voice, looking down at her shoes.

"Yeah I think so…it's just strange…why would he bring him here now? I mean does he really think I need that much more training? Hasn't everything I have done in the past five years just been Dumbledore's way of training me?" I asked in a harsh tone shaking my head.

"I meant about …" she broke off, upset with herself for mentioning it.

"Oh….I…I don't know…" I said honestly looking down myself, "I…I just feel numb….like I'll never be whole again." I said with a small shake of my head and she nodded beside me.

"I know…" she whispered and I looked up at her as I felt a wave of her troubled emotions and depressed thoughts but before I could say anything else she had moved past me into the kitchen with the rest of her family, it was then that I noticed Vaynel was studying me from the far corner of the room. He just sat there with his white clad arms crossed over his chest as the rest of the people in the room ate and talked around him. I felt a chill run down my spine at the expression in his bizarre eyes.

I felt for sure then that there was some other reason that he was here, weather it was a part of Dumbledore's plans or not, I didn't know.

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In a world of utter darkness nothing could be seen around me except the images of the pitch black waters that I fought with sore arms and legs to stay afloat. There was nothing around me, or at least nothing that could be seen. How I had gotten to this vast black ocean I didn't know, but fear began to eat away at my senses. The water was moving, and gaining speed in it's unkind waves of darkness. I struggled as voices in my head began at a whisper beckoning me to give in, to quite fighting, to just let it all go. I continued to fight to keep my head above the waves , arms sprawling out madly in my attempt at survival, but I wondered how long I could hold on, how long before I grew tired and weak. As that question crossed my mind a roaring in my ears caused me to turn just as a massive black wave crushed down over my head. Icy water filled my lungs as I gasped for air. Dazed in the thickness of the water I had no direction. I tried to swim my way back to the surface but all strength was fading from me and the voices begging me to surrender to the waters grew louder and more insistent. Struggling I felt something soft bump against my shoulder behind me and I slowly turned to see Pansy's lifeless face before my eyes, pale and hovering like a doll in the water. Startling me so I moved back , but when her eyes snapped open I attempted to yell in alarm , water flooding my mouth and lungs further as she reached for me with gray dead hands. Her mouth moved but she made no sound and I knew one of the voices in my head belonged to her. My horror grew as another figure came into view behind her and I choked on the pain the new deathly pale face caused inside my body. Sirius looked at me with hallow, cold eyes, blue lips moving to the words in my mind. Give up, fail…surrender. I tried to tell my self it wasn't real and closed my eyes tightly against the images of their faces but I was compelled to reopen them and as I did I saw with dread that two more figures had joined those of Pansy and my Godfather. I screamed my denial as my parents reached for me, faces locked in horror filled expressions and mouths moving to their voices inside my mind. I knew what they wanted…me…they wanted me to join them because their deaths were my fault. I fought helpless against the water to get away from my dead family and friend as their hands came closer and their voices grew louder. As Sirius's ice like fingers wrapped around my wrist I felt his message the clearest. I needed to die….because they had died for me….I should give up because there was nothing left to fight for and I felt my self giving into those words, into his dead eyes.

Pansy's arms wrapped around behind me and my parents faces came closer. Why would they want this ? Why would they want me to die? Didn't they know that I didn't want this? I tried to reason with my self but the depression of the past came swelling back and I was sinking faster in to a dark pit of despair that I knew I would never wake from. I began to welcome it, the silence, the end of it all….what it would be like to be dead? To not have to feel pain anymore? So that no one else would die because of me….I wanted them to take me then and I breathed in the water willingly.

"_No……don't you dare!" _a voice cried , distant , faded beneath the voices of my family. _"They wouldn't have wanted this! They understood the risk! This isn't real!" _the voice said growing a bit louder, but I didn't want to listen now. I wanted it to end…to let it be over.

"_EVERYONE WILL DIE WITHOUT YOU!" _the voice screamed somewhere inside my thoughts and I jerked a bit away from the hands holding me. My mother's ghost moved closer to me and wrapped her cold arms around me and held me like a lover whispering how she wanted me with her, not to leave her again, how she sacrificed herself for me.

"_No….she wouldn't have wanted you to just give up! It's just a trick! It's a dream Harry wake up!" _The new strong voice called now with a hint of desperation. "_It's only a dream! They aren't your parents…FIGHT THEM!" _I heard the voice but there was no strength left in me to fight them.

"_What is there left to fight for?" _I asked the voice and the figures around me whispered their agreement.

"_Justice…." _The voice said and I know felt something inside me at that word but I didn't know what it was until I had time to write this down. I felt the desire for exactly that, to give the people who had harmed innocents what they deserved…bring them to justice…avenge the people I and everyone else had lost. This desire burned inside me and I felt it grow in the hallow part of my soul, felt it reach out to the demons around me and they screamed their anger.

I choked on the icy water still the same, and their faces pulled me down and down. There was no way out and I knew I was going to die even if I no longer wanted to. I fought them , closing my eyes against their faces.

"_YOU ARE OURS!"_ the four voices of the dead around me rang inside my head.

"_No….he belong to me…" _Silver piercing eyes met mine as I turned to the voice that I knew was only inside my head, those eyes were all I saw, they were my whole world in that moment and golden light flooded from me in waves the deathly pale hands releasing me. I reached to him but he wasn't there.

"_No…NO!" _I screamed trying in vain to get to him. "DRACO!" my voice sounded loudly through my room as I woke covered in sweat and shaking uncontrollably before falling onto the floor with a loud thud.

Gasping for breath I sat up and pulled my knees to my chest and let the tears that had already been streaming hotly down my face to continue. The images of my family's faces still burned into my vision though I tried to rid them of my thoughts.

Pulling my head into my hands I finally gathered my breath, fighting to stop my body's tremors. After calming a good bit I pulled this book out and began to write down the whole thing and now re-reading it still makes no sense. Was this some extravagant cruel trick my mind was playing on me? Or could this have been something that Voldemort had organized? If so how is he able to get into my mind again? And what about Draco? Why would he have been trying to help me if it was just a trick ? I have no idea what the devil is going on but my head is spinning at the thought that somehow …Draco was trying to help me…but why would he? He's a death eater now…he's truly my enemy he said so himself…I saw it and felt it in his entire being the last I saw him. Perhaps….there is something inside him that is still good? Or is that what Voldemort is trying to get me to believe? I am so confused….what am I suppose to believe?


	4. Chapter 4

Hey all,  
Since I didn't get any negative, or any at all for that matter, reviews on the crossover character i am going to keep going with it. So either you have all stopped reading by now or you are all just not reviewing, either way i am going to finish this story eventually! Damn you! J/K Read and Review, cause you know I love to know what you all are thinking

Phantom Writer.

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Journal of Ronald Weasley

Well, we are back at the burrow again! Shocking, I know. After staying only a week in London we are back home. Dad told us that we would be going back last night and we spent the majority of the night and this morning packing and getting things together to arrive at the Burrow. Everyone seemed really excited to be going home except for Mom and Dad who seem to be worried that it's not the safest place for all of us, but this is another one of Dumbledore's ideas , not theirs.

I think the main reason we are going back is because of Harry's new trainer, Vaynel. Strange one, he is. His eyes are a strange lavender color that are like they can move straight through you. I've never seen him eat or drink anything which makes me wonder if he is alive or if he is a ghost. Then again they might have gotten us out of the house because it is till the headquarters for the Order of the Phoenix and they don't want us learning more than we are suppose too. You would think after what happened last summer that they would be more willing to let us know what is going on.

Anyway, I think we are going there so that they will have more space to practice their magic. Hermione was very exited as well, of course because she quickly sent Dumbledore an Owl about having the D.A meeting there. I was surprised he agreed, which makes me feel a bit better because that means that the burrow is very safe if he is going to approve of letting a lot of students go there all at once.

Harry doesn't speak much anymore, he always seems so far away as if in another world, but at least he is eating and up and around again. I still haven't told Hermione or anyone else for that matter about what I learned about Harry's killing of Malfoy Sr. But then again, Ginny and I are still on a two word basis thanks to our fight.

Oh well…it's still good to be home.

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Diary of Ginny Weasley 

Oh Merlin, it is so good to be back home! I can't tell you how nice it was to sleep in my own bed for the first time in ages! Don't get me wrong Hogwarts is just like my home too but here I have my own room and I don't have to listen to someone snore other than my bothers. We arrived by flew powder late in the afternoon and mom went straight away into cooking dinner for us all. Dad went back to the office, or somewhere else, after making sure we were all settled. Fred and George apparated to the house just as mom was finishing setting the table. I think it was the best meal I have had all year. Everyone seemed so relaxed, even Harry appeared to be enjoying himself as he chuckled a few times at the stories Fred was telling him about playing pranks on customers as they came into their joke shop.

Dumbledore's friend Vaynel isn't here yet, but Mom said that she thinks he will be arriving in the morning. Ron doesn't seem to like him too much, but I do. I just feel something about him, like I know deep down he is a very powerful wizard with a great heart. His eyes are a bit strange but oh well, maybe that has something to do with being like two hundred thousand years old? I asked Harry what he thinks of him and he kind of just shrugged then said, "I don't know…guess I'll find out though."

I'm still not quite sure what he meant by finding out, but oh well.

Ron is still not speaking to me since I told him that I was the one who sent Harry the letter from Dumbledore, but I honestly don't care. He should have told him himself years ago, then it wouldn't have been such a big deal! Mom and Dad still don't know that I was the one, but they still seem to be very worried about the fact that Harry knows. I tried to convince Mom to go and talk to him about it while I was helping her cook dinner tonight but she just quickly changed the subject. That is what my entire family's problem is, they avoid confrontation to the point that it becomes too late to do anything about it! And then in most cases if they would have just done or said something from the start the out come wouldn't have been half as bad!

Oh well, maybe after time they will learn. I just hope that everyone gets everything they need to say out in the open before…before something happens.

A few nights before I left for home I could have sworn I felt something in my mind, and I am pretty sure it had something to do with Harry. I woke up hearing voices telling me to give in, and to surrender but then when I woke up they were gone and all that remained was a slight headache. I wondered if there was something the matter with Harry but when I walked past his room everything sounded normal and I didn't want to wake him by going into his room. Ever since that night I have been having trouble feeling things from him, it's almost like he has learned how to block me out, which makes me wonder if he can still sense me. I guess it would be good in a way, if he couldn't feel me anymore, because then he wouldn't be able to see my feelings for him every time I am near him. It's slightly embarrassing now, since I know that he will never love me and that he knows how I feel about him.

It's very late now, goodnight.

Oh goodness! What am I doing? Damn I am all worked up now! Why couldn't he just wear a damned shirt while he is working out? I was outside with Hermione working in the garden just before lunch when a huge ball of light came flying in our direction , with a yell she and I both tried to move out of it's way but then it froze in mid air just before reaching us. We stood and looked at it with matching confused expressions before a chucking Vaynel came up behind it and said a word with his hand raised to make it vanish.

"Pardon us…" he said with a friendly smile. I was surprised to see that he was no longer dressed in his spotless white robes and riding gear but was now in a lose fitting tunic and soft brown leather pants a boots. For some reason he seemed much more comfortable this way than in his whites.

As I was looking over Vaynel I heard my mom chuckle softly beside me and I looked at what she was looking at and smirked myself as a very angry and very dirty Harry Potter walked up our dirt path heading towards us. His face was smeared with lines of dust and dirt, his glasses were askew, and his hair was an utter mess of dirt and unruly black locks.

"What on earth are you two laughing at?" Harry asked, his shoulders hunched forward as though he was about to burst with anger.

"You!" Hermione said surprising Harry and myself before she and I both began laughing very hard at a very confused expression he now wore.

Even Vaynel beside him was fighting back a chuckle as Harry looked at us as if we had gone insane. With a tired shrug he sighed but finally smiled as he looked down at the condition of his clothes which was not very good considering his shirt was in pieces and he was missing his left shirt arm.

"Come on, then. We should get a few more things in before we break for lunch." Vaynel said with an airy tone before turning back down the dusty road.

With a shrug Harry pulled his shirt off over his head and I nearly moaned at the sight of him. His lean muscles ripped as his arms lifted to rid him of the garment, his body was lightly sweaty and in the suns light he seemed to shimmer a bit. With wide eyes I watched him turn back down the road.

"Wow…Harry has …um…grown up…quite a bit..." Hermione said in a breathless voice beside me and I looked at her to see that she was slightly flushed.

"Hermione!" I scolded and pushed her playfully in the arm, she flushed more brightly and then gave me a mischievous child like expression.

"Want to go watch them?" She whispered in my ear and I laughed at her before dropping the basket I was carrying the picked turnips in to go running hand in hand with her around the edge of our property to sit on the edge of the field to watch them.

I was surprised to see that instead of a wand Harry had a long sword in his hand as did Vaynel.

"Why is he teaching him to use that? I mean wouldn't you-know-who just attack him with spells?"

"I don't know…" she said , her eyes not leaving either one of the figures a good distance away from us. Vaynel was telling Harry something and Harry was just nodding. Then they backed away a bit and Harry then charged slowly at his teacher. Vaynel is so fast! He moves as though it takes no effort! While poor Harry was surely exerting himself trying to run circles around the older wizard. I guess his seeker skills came in good use there because I don't think I have ever seen two people with swords move so quickly! How they weren't totally mauling one another is totally beyond me, I was just glad that I wasn't the one that Vaynel had chosen to take his sword play out on.

Just as I thought they were getting tired suddenly Vaynel sent a large ball of sparking purple light at Harry, I gasped in alarm and nearly called out a warning to him when Harry dove to the ground and rolled back to his feet, sword still in hand. The ball of light slammed into the ground and a large circle of charred grass was left in it's wake. I was took caught up in what damage it had done to the ground to notice that Vaynel had sent more of those balls of light hurrying after Harry.

"He's trying to kill him!" I said and stood but Hermione grabbed my hand and pulled me back down to the ground.

"Just watch!" she hissed and with a grumbled word I watched as Harry dodged every one of the spells and then with a yell heard from where we both were he sent a bright white ball of his own light towards Vaynel, the same kind of one that had come flying at us in the garden. Vaynel moved to the side but the ball of light followed him, with the skills of a cat he jumped around a few times, never seeming to really touch the ground before taking off again and then finally he sent a spell to end Harry's.

"Wow….he is powerful…" Hermione said beside me , eyes wide as she sat there staring at them both.

"Yeah, well I guess Dumbledore wouldn't have asked him to help Harry if he wasn't a powerful wizard." I said with an appreciative nod.

"I meant Harry…did you know he could do that?" she asked as she stood from the grass and we started our way back to our forgotten turnips.

"Yeah…but I didn't know that made him powerful—"

"Only the most powerful wizards can…our wands are used to concentrate our magical energy to focus them into a spell. In Vaynel's time there was no need for them because very few people were known to have magical abilities and when they did they were all very strong but only in one or two areas just as fetching or empathy, but with wands most wizards can use their magic in a universal fashion though there are many cases where there are things that some are better at than others." She said in a thought filled tone as we collected out baskets.

"Okay…the only thing I didn't catch was the fetching and the empathy…other than that I think I understand."

As we walked back into the house Mom instantly caught us.

"What has taken you so long! I only needed twenty turnips! Goodness! Now lunch will be late…Hermione come help me with this roast, Ginny you go and tell everyone to wash up!" she ordered and Hermione and I rolled our eyes a bit.

After telling Ron, who was outside flying on his broom that he had gotten last year for being a prefect, I went out to tell Harry and Vaynel that it was time for a break. When I got to the edge of the field I saw that they were not there, a noise behind me brought my attention to the shed by the garden. Once there I found a still shirtless Harry putting the two swords against the wall by the hoe and the rake. He was sweating even more now and he seemed to be quite angry.

"A—are you alright?" I asked and jumped back as he swung and pointed one of the swords at me, his bright green eyes glaring daggers at me and I took a startled step back. My heart went racing in my chest as he continued to hold the sword at me then realization seemed to hit him and he lowered the weapon and put it back with the other one. I watched the tense muscles in his shoulders and back as he moved. Carefully I took a few steps closer to him.

"Are you alright?" I asked again and this time he nodded, I saw that he was breathing a bit hard. "W..where did Vaynel go?"

"To hell I hope." He said in a cold voice and turned to look at me then took a deep breath and sighed. "Sorry, Ginny…he is just getting on my last nerve…"

I nodded with a smile and reached out to take his hand in mine, "Just try and remember that he is here to help you…not fight you…"

He nodded, not seeming to have noticed my hand touching his, "Yeah it just feels like the opposite." He said rolling his left shoulder back.

I smiled again and moved closer to him and touched his sore shoulder with a tentative hand, his eyes followed my every movement and I flushed slightly. I nearly pulled my hand back away from him, knowing that he was thinking I had other motives rather than just an innocent massage, when he let out a soft groan as my finger tips worked away a small tight knot in his muscle. I chuckled at him and moved a bit closer, letting his hand go to reach his other shoulder and massage them both. He smelled like soap, leather, and sweat and I could feel the intense heat coming off of him. I was so wound up in being so close to him that it took me a moment to notice the sound coming from him.

"Harry?"

"Humm?" he asked with his eyes closed.

"Are you purring?" I asked and his eyes jumped open in alarm.

"I…um…" his face flushed brightly and he looked around as if searching for a place to run and I couldn't help but laugh out right at him. It sent a wave of intoxicated pleasure through my body as he smiled the first genuine smile I have seen from him in a while. At that intense emotion his smile faded and I knew that he had felt it, he felt my desire to see him smile like that all the time. My desire to be the reason he smiled. I felt my cheeks go warm and I dropped my hands from his shoulders.

"I..." I started but before I could apologize for my emotions his hand had touched my chin and tilted my face to his.

"You shouldn't be sorry for something you can't control." He said in his soft whisper that sent chills throughout me. Being so close I tried to fight my eyes from glancing at his lips but the smell and warmth of his body beat against me and they darted to them and in an instant admired the soft swollen form of them. His cheeks were flushed from his workout and I couldn't help but wonder if he felt anything at being so close to me.

I looked back into his eyes, their color had grown darker and I nearly gasped as I stared into them but his mouth covered mine before I could do so. Instantly I melted against him, closing my eyes to the indescribable feeling of his soft lips against my own. His sent and heat surrounded me along with his arms. My heart beat loudly in my ears and my head felt incredibly light as my arms came around his neck.

But then my wicked conscious broke through the fog of my mind, reminding me once again that I am not the one that he is in love with. I nearly lost all train of thought as his tongue slipped between my willingly parted lips and danced with mine. But I knew it wasn't right. And I knew he could feel my doubt and my questions as the kiss slowly ended and I broke away from him. We were both breathing heavily as we continued to hold one another. His eyes roamed over my face as I continued to stare up at him in wonder.

"GINNY WEASLEY! I told you to go get everyone for lun---" Mom's voice came from the side of the shed and then she appeared at the door stopping in mid sentence before her jaw dropped wide. Harry and I dropped our arms from one another but she just stood there gaping at us for a long minute before turning speechlessly around and walking back to the house.

With a small shake of my head and a smile I just knew I would be getting the Birth Control Potion speech later.

"Ginny…I…" Harry said in a husky voice behind me, I knew I couldn't turn around to look at him, knowing what desire I would now see in his eyes.

"No….it's alright Harry…I…I will try and stay away from you. I know that this is never going to work and I am just setting myself up to get either played with or get my heart broken and I am not looking for either one of those thing to happen." I said the nicest way I could, "I know you don't love me….but I love you…we were together just a friends before, Harry…but I can't do that anymore…not with the way I feel about you. I'm sorry." I said and walked back to the house before I could say anything.

Before mom or anyone else could stop me I ran up the stairs to my room and collapsed to the floor in an aroused heap of tears. I felt horrible just running off like that but I know that if I would have turned back and looked at him I would have been crushed against him in an instant. And despite how much I physically want him I wont allow myself to do so when I know he doesn't love me, it would make me just that much more in love with him , when I am trying to learn to let him go.


	5. Chapter 5

Well hello!

This is another chapter for all of thoses of you who are still reading . I know it has taken a while to actually get back into the story line but I had alot of ground to cover. Anyway! This chapter is rated R for sexual content! Please do not read ifsex makes you uncomfortable. Please read and review!

-Phantom Writer.

* * *

Diary of Harry Potter

What is happening to me? Everything is strange, distant, changing. I guess the only thing that is constant in my life is change. Makes no sense does it? Why when the past few weeks I have been filled with heart break, depression, and self doubt do I now feel alive again? Why do I feel so happy when I have lost someone I loved? When I have been the cause of so much pain, how can I deserve this happiness? I fear that this is not meant to be, and that I will end up more hurt than before in the end. I guess the question now is weather or not the things that happen in between the beginning and the possible end are worth the outcome. Am I just being stupid? Is Ginny right that Draco only tricked me into loving him? That I was so desperate for love that I could find it even in my enemy?

But now I have Ginny…and my thoughts drift less and less to that part of my life…the emotions and desires I had for Draco have become faded, like a memory. Yet still inside me there is a hallow place, like I am still missing apart of myself.

It's been almost two weeks since we all arrived back at the burrow, my training with drill sergeant wizard from the past still continues. Every morning he wakes me up before everyone else and insists that I fight him with a sword. I don't know how I am suppose to be learning anything of value from him when I know that Voldemort wont even think about using a sword to fight me! And it's not as though he really takes it easy on me, by the end of the morning session I am sore and bruised. Even though he is mixing the Mage Magic, which is what he calls wand-less magic, with the sword play I was still missing the point. That is until on a particularly frustrating day, yesterday to be exact, the wizard out smarted me and slammed the hilt of his sword into my jaw, sending me flying across the yard.

I was already very worked up by now, my shoulder was badly beaten, and my temper got the best of me. Standing I saw the normal coy expression on my teachers face and I lost it, charging at him full force in my animagus form, which I soon learned was very, very stupid of me. Before I even reached him my entire body was frozen in mid air and I was totally unable to move in any direction.

"Now now…Harry…you have got to learn that your anger is a weapon that your enemies can use against you." He said as he circled me, his sword back in it's holster on his hip and he crossed his arms over his chest. "If your enemies know that they can get to you by making you angry then they will do so. You must show that you have no weakness, even if you do…you must hide them. That's how people get hurt." He said in a softer voice, the last sentence he looked very sad, just as he waved his and I fell from my frozen animagus state to my human form on the ground.

Rubbing my sore jaw I looked up at him, "What are you talking about? My anger can't get other people hurt…well not other than the one I am trying to take my anger out on." I said with a small shake of my head and to my surprise Vaynel turned on me. Was I seeing things or were there sparks in his purple eyes?

"You foolish boy. You're anger could be your downfall…and then what would be come of everyone else? Not to mention that when you are angered your powers overwhelm you! You could hurt anyone around you without knowing it. You must learn to control your powers along with your emotions!" he said heatedly as his hand gripped his sword hilt.

But I was too heated my self to back down to his angry , yet powerful, words. "Is that why you are teaching me how to play with toys! The Death Eaters would never even dream of picking up a sword let alone try and fight with one! Why don't you teach me control instead of this crap?" I yelled in return throwing my hands up in frustration.

"This is teaching you control! It also teaches you how to be light on your feet, to dodge spells, to fight even when you have no strength and no weapons. There is a limit to your magical abilities and when you meet that limit you will be totally unable to defend yourself unless you learn different methods." He said coolly apparently haven gotten control over his lose anger.

I looked at him and opened my mouth to yell something else at him but there was nothing I could say to that and I lowered my head and tried taking a few deep calming breaths before looking back up at him.

"Sorry." I said but not with out a note of bitterness still hanging in my voice.

"Well, it's a start at least." He said and to my surprise he smiled at me a genuine smile.

After that I felt a bit better about getting my arse kicked all the time by the Mage and I have found that I am getting faster on my movements and dodges. Also I am still working on my temper, but there are so many frustrating things going on in my head all the time that when provoked I just lose all control. The nightmare I had before leaving Grimmuald place has yet to be repeated, thank goodness, but now I am haunted by the images of those faces every night so I sleep very little. Draco's voice has yet to be repeated either, and I have stopped hoping that it will return. Since the events of last night I have really begun to doubt that my feelings for him were genuine.

Last night….I probably should have written about that first…

Woken by the images of the dream I was unable to return to sleep, and I actually didn't want to considering I knew what I would find in my subconscious. I decided to go and get some fresh air, like I do many nights. Dressing in a pair of jeans and a shirt I left the Burrow as quietly as possible. There was a crescent moon over the black sky, since there were no lights on anywhere the stars in the sky could be seen perfectly. Walking out to the paddock, where I practiced Quidditch with Ron, Fred, and George, I felt her presence there. I leaned against the old wooden fence , that was probably only being held up by magic, and looked around for her.

I jumped back a bit when I saw her twenty feet above me flying her broom at a casual speed around in a large circle. She moved gracefully and the wind whipped her loose red hair behind her slowly. The small amount of light offered by the moon barely showed the angles of her face and I watched her entrapped by the vision of her flight. Even from that distance above me I could feel her emotions, the night air and the act of flying its self calmed her and helped her sort her troubled thoughts and feelings. Ever since our strange kiss in the shed she has been very distant around me, only speaking every now and then and not more than one or two words. But I could still sense and feel her, more than I could feel anything or anyone else in the house I could feel her. She tried her best to avoid me but when you are as connected to someone as I am to her she knew that I could feel everything she felt and was unable to hide her consistent love for me, battling with herself every moment she looked at me.

"_Ginny…."_ I whispered to her though she was a great distance away. She didn't appear to hear or see me still the same. I closed my eyes and searched my mind for the glowing ember that was the connection between us and called to her. This time she stopped mid air and turned around to see me on the ground. A bright smile broke over her features but I could feel the nervousness and dread that also arose with in her along with the pleasure of seeing me.

Landing in front of me I smiled at the flushed color of her cheeks from and how wind blown her long hair was. She wore a pajama matching top and pants with small white sandals.

"What are you doing out here?" she asked me in a breathless way and I shrugged.

"Couldn't sleep…you look great up there." I said, and it was then I realized I was staring at her, my eyes wondering freely over her face and body and she blushed brightly and adverted her eyes from mine.

"Another nightmare?" she asked in a whisper and I looked at her with surprise. "Yeah I know about them…I don't know what they are about but I can feel it when you have them." She said in the same tone as she walked around the gate to where I was standing, her broom at her side.

"Oh…" I said dumbly with a small shake of my head. "Why…why have you been avoiding me?" I asked though I knew the answer and she looked up at me with a small sad smile.

"Because I can't deny the way I feel about you….and being near you just creates so many …difficult emotions. It's not fair to either of us. I want us to be friends, but it hurts being so close to you and unable to…be with you." She said in a broken voice and turned her back to me.

"I'm sorry…I didn't mean to—"

"You didn't do anything, Harry….it's not your fault you don't have any feelings for me."

I closed my eyes and sighed deeply, I could feel everything she was feeling. The acceptance of me never being able to love her was eating away at me. I couldn't deny how this connection between us pulled me to her, how I needed to feel her around me because she was the only person I could truly trust. We were silent as I walked behind her to the broom shed, she walked inside and put her broom beside the others against the wall then walked back out to lean against the back of the building looking up at the stars above us as though deep in thought.

"Wh…what if I do…" my voice broke the silence between us in a horse whisper.

She turned and looked at me as though I had lost my mind.

"What if you do what?" She asked with wide eyes and I could feel the hope and doubt battling inside her.

"What if….I do…feel something for you?" I asked slowly, taking a cautious step towards her, my heart beat was racing inside my chest and I could feel her excitement at that one simple step.

"Harry…don't…don't play with me…" she said , her breath growing deeper.

"I'm not, Gin…I can't deny that I feel something for you. The way we are so connected, how I can feel everything you feel just draws me in. Not only that but you're so kind, and honest…you've always been there for me even if I haven't always been there for you…I..I can't say that I am in love with you….but I do have feelings for you. I don't know what I would do if I ever lost you. I know I've put you through a lot and I could never expect you to---"

I couldn't even finish my sentence, while I had been speaking I had been taking slow steps to her and at this moment she closed the space between us. The soul shattering kiss stole my breath away. Everything outside of she and I seemed to vanish as our arms wrapped around one another and our tongues swirled together in a passionate kiss. I was instantly flooded by her emotions as I released any shield or hold on the connection that binds us together and I gasped, breaking the kiss as her love, desire, and happiness rolled through me like a wave.

Our eyes met and I saw the desire and question written in her brown orbs and I smiled softly. Her lips were red and swollen from the kiss and her cheeks were flushed a flattering shade of red. We stared into one another's eyes for a long moment, savoring one another's mixed emotions and the pleasure they caused us both.

"Harry…." She whispered, my name a horse prayer from her lips called to me on every level of myself and I brought my lips back to hers. I slid my arms down her small waist and pushed my body flush against hers, her back pressing against the shed behind her as she moaned lightly at the contact of our bodies. Doubt and fear flickered in her mind and I tried to send to her all the comfort I could, showing her what I felt for her, and how much I needed her. Our mouths moved over one another, one of her hands smoothing through my hair as my aroused body pressed softly against hers.

She broke the kiss to toss her head back and moan, I wondered at that sound for an instant before I felt her pleasure. My erection was pressing against her firmly and the excitement, joy and extreme need that she felt from the contact poured over me and I groaned. I knew each touch would bring new sensations, new emotions…and I craved them, for with each one, unspeakable amounts of pleasure shocked my body and I desired more and more of them.

I moved my hands beneath her shirt as my lips took to her neck, since her head was tilted back. I planted sweet kisses down her sensitive flesh to each one she gasped lightly and I was rewarded with her pleasure causing emotions, and my desire grew to dangerous levels. I wanted her so badly that I didn't care were we were or who could possibly find us, all that mattered was that I not stop touching her.

"Harry…oh please…" she whispered in a deliciously hungry voice.

I pulled back from her, causing a disappointed cry from her lips and she brought her eyes to mine with a questioning thought and I smiled to only pull her nightshirt from her torso and up over her head. She wore nothing beneath it and she stood there willingly for my gaze in the soft light the moon and stars provided. As I looked over her hungrily her breath was heavy and she was trembling slightly. I pressed back against her with a low growl, her bare breasts pressing against me, animalistic desire feeding the fire in my loins. After another long wonderful kiss I dipped my head to capture one hardened pink nipple between my teeth. She gasped and moaned loudly, one of her hands smoothing through my hair and the other around my back holding on to me as though she was afraid she would fall. Pleasure, her pleasure, physical and metaphysical rushed over me and my erection jumped in response. I was painfully hard but I wanted to tease and touch every part of her before letting it end.

I swirled my tongue over her sensitive bud , my other hand moving to firmly grip and mold her other breast and she began grinding against me. The heat was rising between us and a thin line of sweat covered her soft flesh. I broke away from her delicate nipple and her lips found mine again. Her hands moved between us and she fought to unbutton my shirt, with help she managed to get it off my shoulders and pull me against her.

We gasped together as our bare chests touched the feel of our hot skin pressed together was too much and lust over came us both. Our mouths worked together in a series of furious hot kisses as we quickly fought to be rid of the rest of our clothing. She was naked before me and I was over come with uncontrollable lust to be inside her, to feel the emotions it caused, to feel her pleasure relayed back and forth between us. I moaned at the very idea, watching as her small hand unzipped my pants and released my rigid sex from my pants. I leaned my hand against the wall behind her as her hand came in contact with the overly sensitive flesh and she stroked me slow and hard for a few moments. I shuddered violently as her thumb swirled the drop of fluid on the tip around the head of my member.

"_Oh…gods…Ginny!_" I thought to her as my eyes closed, pleasure riveting my every pore.

"_Yes….oh…Harry…"_ she thought in response, and her pleasure at our communicating without words trilled her and myself. I was so pulled to her, so needy so desperate for her I couldn't wait any longer and she knew it. A low growl rose in my throat, something within my core was pulling me to her, swirling emotions and lust taking over all thought as I pushed her hand away from my throbbing sex. I hadn't even finished undressing but it didn't matter, I had to have her. As before in the locker room a few months ago my hands went to her bare hips and I pulled her up against the wall so that her legs could wrap around my waist.

A flash of fear flicked into my mind , not my own but Ginny's but it was too late to turn back now, and as my sex found her soaking wet, hot center I drove into her In one fluid motion. A soft yell broke from both our mouths. I can't even begin to describe how insanely amazing that feeling was. Wave after wave of her deliciously sinful pleasure and emotions shocked my body and I climaxed instantly but I couldn't stop. I rocked into her with a wave of my hips and she cried out as intense pleasure flooded her body, I know because I felt it too.

All incoherent thought was lost, all that mattered was the pleasure, the connection between our mind and our bodies as I drove in and out of her with deep and long thrusts. Her center was soaked as though she was climaxing over and over, her fingernails dug into the flesh of my back only enticing me more to push further inside her.

"_Yes…oh…yes…_" her mind cried to mine and our lips met again in a wondrous kiss, her unconditional love for me flowed easily into my body, mind and heart.

"_Ginny…oh…I love you…"_I thought to her without thinking, but I knew I did. How could I feel so much for her and not love her? How could our physic connection be only a coincidence? I let my feelings flow through that connection and into her and I was rewarded with all of the love and desire that her heart could hold. As our worlds melded together love, lust, and pleasure consuming us both we climaxed together, moaning loudly and crying out one another's names.

After letting ourselves come down from the after effects of our orgasms we slowly redressed ourselves. I realized that the connection between us was now even stronger, I could sense every tiny thing about her, how she was moving, how her body temperature was slowly cooling from the sexual encounter, and how her passion had not yet abated. I felt her fear as I stood there watching her dress, she thought I was going to leave her now, and tell her it was all a mistake, but she was wrong. I did love her, I knew it the moment I was inside her, how perfect it felt, how connected we became. And how even standing there beside her I wanted her.

"I …Um…" she started to say once she was fully dressed, but I wouldn't let her speak, I simply pulled her into my arms and kissed her deeply and she fell against me.

"Ginny…I do love you…." I said, pressing my brow against hers after I broke the kiss. She slid her arms around me and sighed deeply. "I just…never realized it until now…gods how could I have been so blind?" I asked myself with a shake of my head.

"What..what about….Draco…" she asked in a broken voice.

"I…I don't know…It's hard to love someone who hates you…and I still don't know if it was all just a trick…which is very possible…but I can't keep telling myself that I don't have feelings for you or love you…not after what I felt through you a minute ago….this connection between us means something, Ginny…I don't know how, but the fact that I have realized I love you has only made it stronger."

"Harry …I.---" she started to say and I could feel her doubt her questioning mind.

"No…please…. Ginny I want to be with you…please…I know I've hurt you but please….give me a chance…" I said in a soft whisper that sounded broke and pleading. She sighed deeply and shook her head before looking up into my eyes and kissing me sweetly.

"I love you too, Harry." She said with a smile and I hugged her tightly.

After walking her to her room and saying a long good night I went to my room slept for the first time in months with out a single nightmare. It's incredible how different I feel, how alive I feel right now. I never thought that I would ever be able to love again, but my heart is full with the feelings that I have for her now. And the memories of Draco seem faded and lost, as though it never happened. And my lightheartedness makes me a bit nervous. Were the things I felt for Draco really apart of some game, some spell? Or did I really love him and he was only playing with me? What is going to happen if I see him again? How will I feel? Suddenly , now with Ginny, I doubt that I will feel anything. My heart is so full with love for her that I don't mourn my relationship with Draco. It's the past…and it doesn't matter. I love Ginny and I know there is nothing that will ever change that.

This connection between Ginny and I still confuses and slightly worries me. I think that I will mention it to Vaynel tomorrow morning, there is something about it that seems too strange, like I shouldn't be able to talk with her mind to mind, can other wizards do that? Or is there something really wrong with both of us?


	6. Chapter 6

Diary of Harry Potter

It's been over a week since I have had the opportunity to write in here I've been so busy training with Vaynel, and helping Hermione and Ron organize the D.A meeting that is going to be this weekend and going on raids. We are still having trouble figuring out how many people will actually show up so we have no idea how many to prepare for. Dumbledore has arranged for the majority of the Order of the Phoenix to be joining us. I still have yet to find an opportunity to discuss the physic connection between Ginny and I to Vaynel, It's honestly slipped mind until I read the last entry in this book.

The morning after I wrote my last entry Ron and Hermione were helping Mrs. Weasley in the kitchen. As I started down the stairs from my room there was a crash that sounded light dishes and Hermione screamed, my heart sped up immediately and I ran down the rest of the stairs. I looked around in the kitchen to see Hermione backed up against the far wall with her hands over her mouth staring the opposite direction at the fire place which seemed to have a human head swirling around in the roaring green flames. Mrs. Weasley was muttering to herself and with a flick of her wand the broken dishes were mended, Ron was too busy trying to keep from laughing at his distraught girlfriend to offer much comfort. The head stopped spinning and Remus Lupin looked back at us through the fire. Hermione blinked a few times and lowered her hands to reveal and very small smile and Ron lost his hold and laughed at her.

"It's not funny, Ronald!" She scolded and slapped him lightly on the arm. I smiled at them before looking back into the fire.

"All right there Harry?" he asked me with a rather tired grin.

"All right, you?"

"Fine fine….I have a message from Dumbledore for you." He started, waiting for the laughing behind me to cease which it soon did with the firm expression of Mrs. Weasley. "The Aurors are going on a raid tonight and he would like you to accompany them in their task. At eleven sharp they will be at the Burrow to pick you up and tell you what the situation is." He did not seem happy about having to tell me this, apparently he did not approve of me being allowed on this mission.

"Harry I want you to be careful…I don't know where you are going to be going but---" he started to say looking at me with true concern.

"I'll be as careful as possible." I said and he nodded before turning his head in the fire to Mrs. Weasley.

"See you later Molly, Ron…Hermione." He said before the image of his face disappeared and the fire place was empty.

"They can't be serious!" Hermione said in a high pitched voice just beating Mrs. Wesley in voicing her own displeasure in my involvement with the raid. "Harry, it's too dangerous!" she cried out.

"I agree, Harry you should tell them you don't want to go."

"Where is Harry going?" came a voice from the stairs and I looked up to see Ginny standing on the last of the stairs looking down at all of us. Our eyes met for a moment and a soft flush came to her cheeks as I smiled at her.

"They want Harry go to on a raid." Ron said with a sour note, "You get to have all the fun, mate." He said turning and looking at me with a covetous expression and for the second time that day Hermione hit him. "Oy! Why do you keep hitting me? Come on it's can't be that dangerous! Dad does them all the time!" He said in his defense as Ginny giggled at them both and sat at the table and pulled some pancakes on her plate.

"But Harry is not a fully trained wizard!" Hermione said sitting beside Ginny and stabbing a sausage with a fork.

"Well obviously Dumbledore thinks he is ready, and it's not often that Dumbledore is wrong. Plus I trust him enough to think that he wouldn't put Harry in any situation that he would be unable to handle." Ginny said wisely before sipping her juice. Everyone in the room stared at her and I beamed at her, it was nice to see that someone had confidence in me. She looked up , "What?" she asked everyone and her mom just took a deep breath then went back to her cooking.

"Eat up, Harry Dear. You'll need you energy for tonight." She said though her tone was not a very pleasant one.

After breakfast, as usual , Vaynel was waiting for me in the paddock, sword on his hip and his arms crossed over his chest as he leaned against the rotting fence.

"You wont need that today." He said as I headed to the shed to get my sword, confused I went over to where he was sitting and stood beside him. "You're going to be doing something different. I was informed this morning that you are to be assisting in a mission from the Order, so I am going to have to move up this lesson because it is a very critical one."

"I am guessing you don't think I should be going tonight, then?" I asked in a casual tone.

"No, I am glad that they finally starting to see that you are an adult and a very powerful wizard, it is control that you lack but I believe that when in a stressful situation now you will be better prepared to handle your powers, emotions , and thoughts." He said moving off of the fence and lowering his arms. "I know that you are unable to apparate as of yet because you are not of age, which is a great disadvantage if you need to escape quickly, even in your animagus form you still do not have an instant escape." He said walking around in a small circle as I sat there watching him. "So you are simply going to have to learn to be invisible without help of a cloak or any other device."

"What?" I said startled.

"Did you not know it was possible?" he asked in a lightly surprised tone.

"Well, No..I mean I knew Dumbledore could he told me once…but I thought only really powerful wizards could do that."

Vaynel tilted his head and studied me before smiling, "Harry, You are a really powerful wizard. One of the most powerful I have ever encountered."

I only blinked staring at him then smiled, "Thanks."

We got to work after that, the spell was not one that I would consider easy, true it is just a word that you say inside your head but this one takes as much concentration as a patronus and much more magical energy than I would have expected. By the time the sun began to set I had only managed to make half of my self invisible.

"Okay we are going to try this one more time…now focus!"

I closed my eyes and thought the incantation as best I could.

From the fence someone began laughing, which was soon joined by two other voice. Ginny, Hermione and Ron were watching and laughing at me. Vaynel and I were both very frustrated by this time.

"What's so funny!" I called out. "This isn't really easy you know!" my temper getting the better of me until I looked down at myself. I had once again managed to make half of myself vanish, which included my right arm, left leg, one eye brow and my hair. "Oh…" I said with a disgruntled expression.

Vaynel sighed as the laughing continued and he shook his head smirking, "Alright…well we will just have to hope that you wont need to escape quickly this time." He said with an exasperated air just as Mrs. Weasley called to us from the door that it was time for dinner.

"Good Luck tonight." Vaynel said before turning around and walking the opposite direction. Ginny came running out to the paddock, "Are you going to fix yourself?" she asked me with a raised eyebrow. Smiling I called off the spell and my limbs returned to their visual state.

"Where does he go, do you think?" Ron asked from the fence.

"Dunno." I said watching the retreating back of my trainer as he walked away from us.

After dinner we were all sitting in the small living room , Ron and Ginny were playing a very heated game of Wizards Chess, Hermione was reading her new charms book for the next year, and I was sitting there staring off into outer space.

"Are you alright, Harry Dear?" Mrs. Weasley asked with a fond expression from over her knitting.

"Yes…yes I'm fine….just.."

"Nervous , Mate?" Ron asked not taking his eyes from the chess board.

"Yeah kind of…I think I would feel better about it if I knew where I was going and what I was going to be doing."

"I'm sure you'll be fine, Harry." Hermione said looking up from her book and giving me a small smile. I looked down at my watch, it was five after. "They are late."

"Oh they will be along any moment. Oh!" Mrs. Weasley said looking up at the clock in which there was a dial for each member of the Weasley family, Mr. Weasley's hand moved from Work, to traveling, to home in a matter of seconds.

With in the next minute Mr. Weasley walked into his house through the kitchen door. Mrs. Weasley got up instantly, probably to go and fix him something to eat.

"No no, not time for that love…is Harry ready?" Mr. Weasley said from the kitchen and my head shot up, I was going to be going with Ron's dad to the raid? Suddenly it didn't seem like it was going to be a bad trip, where ever we were going.

"Are you going with me then?" I asked as I stood from my seat, the others standing with me and looking at the eldest Weasley with hopeful expressions.

"Yes yes…10 of us tonight, including you Harry."

"But where are we---"

"You'll find out soon enough my boy, now off we go." He said and turned back into the kitchen.

I turned to Ginny who flew into my arms and gave me a huge hug, "take care of yourself." She said as she looked up into my eyes and I smiled. Ron watched us with raised eyebrows and Hermione only smiled.

I released her and Ron shook my hand, "Good Luck mate."

Hermione and I only looked at one another and I nodded, knowing that she didn't approve of this I knew she would offer no advice or best wishes, but I knew she felt them. I turned and pulled my cloak on over my clothes and ran to follow Mr. Weasley.

I was surprised to see Tonks, Lupin and Moony already waiting for us out side in the field where we normally played Quidditch.

They all seemed very somber and tired but they all smiled and nodded at me in welcome.

"Ready then?" Moony asked in his raspy voice.

"Where are we going?" I asked not looking at him as his magical eye seemed to look straight through me. "And what exactly are we doing?"

"We are searching for any evidence of magic, dark or other wise, and any clues as to Voldemorts whereabouts. We are going to be searching a very old run down home, but we must do it as quickly and quietly as possible." Lupin said as Tonks picked up an empty bottle from the ground.

"Since you can't apparate we have to use a port key. The Aurors should be waiting for us, we are right on schedule. Ready?" Mr. Weasley asked me and I nodded.

We all touched the bottle and in an instant I felt the familiar tug at my navel and I was swirling in a blaze of dark colors. For the first time I landed on my feet using a port key. The ground beneath me was soft and I realized it was grass just as two people fell to the ground beside me and Lupin and Moony landed on their feet. As Mr. Weasley brushed off his rear and Tonks was helped up by Lupin I looked around us. Where ever we were it was a good distance away from the Burrow for now the moon was fuller and the stars were less bright.

We stood on a small hill that over looked the village below us, the air was thick with moisture signaling the dew that would cover the homes by the next morning.

"Come….we must hurry." Moony said as he pulled the hood of his black cloak over his head and we all did the same, then followed him into a thick patch of trees. One of them lit their wand to guide our way and we all moved swiftly through the woods, the sound of a branch breaking behind me startled me into stopping and I turned around directing my wand as though there was someone behind me. There was a sound like a whisper and I realized the others had stopped too and were pointing their wands and looking around them. Two of them I recognized from the group of Aurors who had collected me from Privet Drive in my fifth year but I could not remember their names. The two groups of wizards nodded at one another in greeting.

"No time for introductions, lets move on." Moody said in his harsh whisper and turned back to the trail in the patch of woods.

"Alright there, Weasley?" came a voice and we all spun to the location of the speaker when Kingsley Shaklebolt came into a patch of moon light. Four black cloaked and white robed aurors filled in behind him their wands held at their sides. Not long after meeting the group of aurors we came out to the edge of the village.

"Wait here." Moony said as he walked forward moving in and out of the shadows. He lifted his hand and the lights from the street lamps flew into what looked like a small lighter, I realized it was one of the Put-outers. Once the street was void of all light we moved down the street sides in pairs, whispering and signaling until finally we turned down a road. There was not a single light on down the road and at the very end of it was what looked like a very old, very destroyed mansion.

Once again we moved on in the darkness, the only sounds around us were the swish of our cloaks and the sound of our feet on the road. Moony signaled us all to stop and we did so, watching for the signal to continue after he scanned the house with his magical eye. He waved us forward to the broken fence that had once surrounded the house.

We were all huddled together as he spoke, "This is definatlly the place, there are wards and numerous curses and protections around this house, lets split up and see if we can find a way in." we all nodded, the group of aurors ducked and moved around the left side of the house the others and I moved around the right. As we turned the corner I couldn't help but gasp as we ended up right in a grave yard.

"I..I know this place…" I said with wide eyes, "This is where Voldemort came back…this is where Cedric died." I said walking past several headstones.

"What?" Lupin asked with wide eyes looking around, "You mean…he was here…"

"Yes…this house…he must have been…." Mr. Weasley said then stopped, "What if he is still here?" he asked Lupin with a very worried expression. Thinking that this might have been possible my fist tightened around my wand and I felt a rush of excitement, what if this was my chance to finally rid the world of Voldemort?

To our left someone whistled low and soft, we all turned our wands instantly to the direction of the sound then lowered it when we realized it was the signal.

"They must have found a way in." Lupin said and moved to the other side of the house, where Moony and Tonks were standing beside an open door.

Tonks smiled at us a bit and shrugged as she imitated herself leaning against the door and the door opening, her clumsiness had actually managed to be useful. I started to go into the house when Moony stopped me with a hand and moved ahead of me. With a sigh I followed the rest of the members of the Order and the five aurors into the house, the wood beneath our feet creaking under our weight. The entire house was covered in dust and looked as though it had not be inhabited for hundreds of years. As our group spread out through the house looking for their clues I did the same. It was not long before I realized that I was alone in what was once probably a very handsome living room, since we had not been attacked yet I assumed that we were alone in the house and I started examining small dust covered things laying around the house. I thought it strange that a house that had been vacant for so long would still have furniture inside it, not only that but it looked almost as though no one had touched the house since the last inhabitants and I thought for a fleeting moment that this had been a total waste of time.

With a sigh I turned and started to head into the next room when my cloak caught on something knocking it to the floor with a soft thud. I turned and picked up the small dust covered object to see that it was a silver goblet, with the edge of my cloak I whipped the dust from it's surface to reveal the name "Riddle" engraved in the metal. In an instant my heart leapt into my throat and I turned quickly to inform the others and found a wand pointed directly in my chest.

"_Stupify!_" he said and I went flying through the room slamming hard into the wall behind me and I felt something in my side snap, searing pain coming from that sound and I knew I had broken a rib or two.

I coughed painfully as I pulled myself to my fours.

I heard each of his steps as he moved slowly closer, "You're pathetic, Potter." He said as he came to my side and I looked up into his silver eyes and the hatred inside them drove into my heart more than the spell had. "I could kill you right now if I wanted to…" he said putting his wand tip under my chin as I continued to fight for the ability to move and breath.

"And believe me I do want to." He said pushing his wand into my neck so, his aura was blocked from me as was his mind, I could only feel the true hatred he held for me inside his voice. "But as I have said before, you are for the dark lord…but don't worry my friends will happily take out the rest of your little gang. Of course, this doesn't mean that I can't have a little fun with you while you are being distracted from saving your friends." He said and I looked up at him with wide eyes, "_Crucio!_" I screamed as the spell hit me squarely once more, the pain in my side intensifying by ten and my body curled into it's self, all I saw was red as my body was wracked with the insane amounts of pain the spell caused. The screams that filled my ears I knew to be my own. Hours it seemed he tortured me with the spell until my mind began to wish that I would die, and then he stopped, leaving me shuddering ,coughing and gasping for breath as I lay at his mercy on the floor.

"Yes…do you like screaming for me, Potter?" he laughed darkly.

"Tell me, Did you all really think that the Dark Lord would just sit around waiting for you to show up and trap him?" he laughed again, a cold bitter sound and he continued to drive his wand into my throat.

Though I had given up on all hope of the love I shared with my now torturer being real I couldn't help but be shocked and pained by the strength of his hatred for me, it was in this instant that I knew I hated him as much as well. He had raped Hermione, he had tried to kill me and Pansy, he had tricked me into loving him…he was more evil than I had ever anticipated.

I moved once again to my fours , despite the complaints of my sore and tired muscles, and looked up with matching hatred into his silver eyes.

"Now it's time that you meet your fate….and I shall be rewarded by the lord for bringing you to him." He said with pride.

"You know what, Malfoy?" I started in a weak voice that gradually grew stronger, "You talk too much." I said and collected the last of my strength and focus, "_Sparisca!" _ I thought closing my eyes and I felt a warm liquid like sensation flow over my entire form and I rolled away from my previous location.

Yelling in frustration he sent a curse at where I was, then another ten feet above my head. I moved invisible, clutching my side, through the room watching as he sent curses flying in every direction screaming in rage. There was a crash up stairs and I knew that there had to be other fights going on up stairs.

"Come out, Potter…I will find you one way or another…I will burn this whole house down if I have to." He said sending curses through out the room with every other word. There was a very loud crash to the left and I saw with alarm that someone had been either thrown or had fallen through the stair case. Then with a rush of relief Mr. Weasley's face could be seen over the banister. "Oops…!" he said as Malfoy sent a curse at him and he dodged out of the way, not long after the scarred hand of Moony appeared and sent a curse flying back at Malfoy who used a protection spell and sent it flying back to the already broken stair case.

"Come on, Ferret, you can do better than that can't you?" Moody cried with a jovial tone.

There was a loud crack and three Death Eaters appeared before Malfoy, "We've got it lets go!" Bellatrix Lesgrange' voice said from under her hood.

"No! Potter is here!" he said turning around in the room as if I would have suddenly reappeared.

"We have our orders." A male voice said from another hood taking a daring step to Malfoy who looked very torn between staying and hunting me kill he killed me and following his orders.

"I swear Potter….I am going to get you and I will enjoy the day I watch you die." He said looking around the room one more time before he, and the other Death Eaters, apparated from the house.

"Harry! Harry? Where are you?" Tonks called out as she helped a limping Lupin through the dining room into the living room.

Either Moony or Mr. Weasley said "_Repairo" _ over the broke stairs and they fixed themselves as well as could be expected with a dead Death Eater on top of them, who's body then fell down the remainder of the stairs and landed with a sick thud at their end. Moony and Mr. Weasley joined Lupin and Tonks in their search for me.

"Over there." Moody said , his magical eye obviously seeing right through my protection spell. Two of the aurors I did not know moved over to where I was just as I muttered, "Nox" and the spell ended.

One of them pulled me to my feet and I winced as pain racked my body, every muscle felt sore and used beyond repair, my side and lip were bleeding.

"Up ya go." An aurora with light brown hair and a kind looking face said as he let me lean my weight against him.

"I'm alright." I managed to say as, with his help, I made it outside. Tonks helped Lupin to sit down beside me.

"Well this was a total fiasco." One of the aurors with graying blond hair said as she sank down to the ground beside Lupin and I. "We were totally bombarded!" she exclaimed.

"I don't think that was the case, really?" Lupin said with a wince as he tried to get his ankle to a more relaxed position.

"What do you mean?" the brunette aurora who had helped me up earlier asked with wide eyes, "They obviously set us up! We were totally out numbered! You mean to say that you don't think this was a trap?"

"No. I don't think it was a trap." Lupin said. Mr. Weasley was looking very contemplative with his arms crossed over his chest and leaning against the house in the moonlight, Moody was looking around us as though waiting for us to make up our minds as to weather to not to leave while the others just watched the conversation with interest.

"What do you mean?" I asked Lupin turning to look at him.

"I think we just discovered where Voldemort has been hiding out."

"WHAT!" Everyone but Moody and Mr. Weasley said staring at Lupin as if he had lost his mind. But then I thought about it, the graveyard, the cup…

"I think you're right." I said looking up at the others around us. "This was the graveyard that he came back in, remember I was here. When he killed Cedric Diggory. And the cup…there was a cup in side with the name Riddle engrave into it. This must have been his family's house."

"Who's riddle?" one of the aurors asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Riddle was Voldemorts---" several of the people gasped at my saying his name which irritated me, "real name. Tom Riddle."

"So you think that he was here the whole time and when we showed up we caught him off guard and he barley escaped?" The blond witch asked beside Lupin who nodded.

"Something of that sort."

"Were any of you able to identify the Death Eaters? Besides Lestrange?"

Everyone replied in the negative.

"Malfoy." I said , looking down away from everyone's eyes.

"What?" Mr. Weasley asked, "But Lucius Malfoy is dead."

"Not Lucius…Draco Malfoy….he was the one I was fighting. He snuck right up behind me just as I had found the cup. He asked if we expected Voldemort to just be waiting for us…which means that he was here…and he ran just in time."

"But if Draco Malfoy is a Death Eater certainly he wont be allowed back at Hogwarts next year?" Kingsley said , speaking for the first time since we had met up with him.

"That , unfortunately is not our decision, it's Dumbledores." Lupin said and struggled to get to his feet.

Gasping in pain as Mr. Weasley assisted me I looked at Lupin in curiosity, "Even with all of us witnessing against him you think Dumbledore would still let him attend school?" I asked.

"You never know…but lets not worry about it now….lets get back to the burrow." Mr. Weasley said and he nodded to Kingsley.

"Don't forget to file the reports first thing in the morning Arthur…I will be sure to write to Dumbledore and the Minister as soon as I arrive to inform them of what happened tonight." Then he turned and looked at me with his dark brown eyes and gave me a smile, which startled me slightly, "You did good, Mr. Potter." He said and then with five separate loud cracks the five of the Aurors disapparated.

I didn't speak to anyone until we arrived back at the burrow, Mrs. Weasley was waiting up for us and was livid as she saw my condition. Stuffed with potions, healing charms, and two healed ribs I was forced to bed as she had some very colorful words with Mr. Weasley over the foolishness of Dumbledore and the aurors and demanded to know what had happened.

I didn't get to sleep though, like a true friend Ron was waiting for me on my bed to hear all of the details of the night, to which I only managed to get out about five minutes worth . His mom must have given me a sleeping potion for soon I was a sleep, despite Ron's complaints of wanting to hear the rest of it. In the morning I was bombarded with questions from Ron and Ginny, who wanted to know everything about it. Mrs. Weasley was in a foul mood all morning as was Hermione I guess they were both resisting the urge to tell me that I was not ready to go on the raid or 'I told you so'.

It's just after lunch now, Vaynel gave me the morning off I guess since he did not show up for our normal morning hours but I bet anything he will not be so kind as to do the same for the afternoon. I hope I will get the chance to tell him about the psychic thing between Ginny and I. I will write more later.


	7. Chapter 7

Diary of Ginny Weasley

How can things be this way? How can he change his mind so quickly? He loved him, I know he did. I saw it in his eyes and felt it through our connection everyday this past year. I know he loved him so how can he love me now? Why are we so connected to begin with? The first time we were together it was nothing like it was the other night, so what changed? Am I just too afraid that his love is real to be able to accept it? Should I just accept what he says and what he feels now and forget about the things he felt for Draco? Can I do that? I know it sounds crazy since for the longest time I doubted very much the feelings that Harry and Draco shared, but there was no denying the true emotions that Harry had for him, it was only the truth in side Draco's actions and words that I questioned. How has it all changed so much in such a short period of time, how can someone's heart be so fickle? Was it because it really was just some sort of spell that the Death Eathers had placed on Harry and now that the spell has ended he is able to love freely once more? I feel so lost and I don't have anyone to help me try and answer these questions. I would talk to Harry about them but he is away at a raid right now, not to mention the fact that I don't want to bring him any more heartbreak by letting him know just how much I doubt him and his love for me, he has been through so much this year. The last thing I would want to do would be to cause him anymore stress….and I do love him. There is no question in my heart about loving him and he needs all the love and caring he can get right now.

I just wish that there was some way I could get even one or two of the answers to all my questions, but who can I turn to?

Harry came back from his raid last night while we were all sleeping and when I woke in the morning Mom wouldn't let me go see him, which I was not happy about. I was actually just glad that he was back and that he was still alive from the raid, Ron seemed to know more about what had happened than any of us but he wouldn't say anything in front of Mom and hinted that he would inform Hermione and I later. But he never got that chance because some how mom had put together a whole list of chores for all of us to do in very separate rooms or parts of our property, and I was stuck with my angry curiosity for the majority of the day. Later tonight at dinner , just as we were all finishing up we all started to hear the stairs creaking under some ones feet and electric excitement filled me as I looked up at Harry who stood there whole and sturdy in the kitchen doorway.

"Well come in, come in dear….don't just stand there staring at us all!" Mom said and flicked her wand so that a rather large slice of meat pie flew from the pan beside the stove and landed on a plate then the plate flew to sit in on the placemat in front of the chair next to mine. Mom smiled at me a bit then went back to her own meal and the conversation she was having with Hermione about the food for the D.A meeting the next day.

"Feeling better , Mate?" Ron asked just before shoving a large fork full of beans into his mouth and Harry sat down beside me.

I felt my cheeks go a bit warm at the familiar buzzing in the back of my skull that was his presence in my mind and sent him a mental hug before taking a long sip of pumkin juice. With that touch of our minds I knew that something was wrong, something had happened at the raid. Something to make his old sorrow return, like something had reopened a cut in his soul, a cut I had thought was mended a month ago. He turned his eyes to mine and I fought to keep from gasping at their color, the hollowness, black and amber had returned.

'_I'm alright, love…'_he thought to me and surprisingly gave me a warm smile. _'Just worn out is all—'_

'_Don't lie to me…something happened….you…you saw him didn't you?' _I asked and he looked away from me and toyed with his pie with his fork.

'_Yes…but he has nothing to do with it…I almost had him Gin, we were right there and he got away…he was in that house we went to just before we got there and he escaped…it could have all been over, and we let him get away!' _he thought to me with a hard shake of his head.

"Are you alright, Harry Dear?" Mom asked giving him a worried expression and he nodded.

"Yes…thanks…just still tired is all. I think you must have given me a whole bottle of sleeping potion." He said with a small smile to her as he took a small bite of his pie.

"Well you did need your rest, dear." Mom said. I looked up to see that Hermione was looking at us both with very curious expressions as though she was trying for the life of her to figure something out and just couldn't.

'_Later.' _I thought to him before standing and clearing off my plate as Ron pulled Harry into a conversation about the meeting as well.

I didn't know it but Hermione quickly followed me into the living room and startled me as she said my name.

"Look I need to ask you about something." She said pulling me into the corner furthest from the kitchen. Her brown eyes were very fierce and alert as if it was extremely important whatever she was about to say to me.

"What is it?" I asked, trying my best not to sound annoyed.

"What is going on between you and Harry?" She asked in a soft whisper.

"Oh, not you too!" I said rolling my eyes at her and taking a step away, "I love him, alright? And there is noting you---"

"I'm not talking about your relationship." She said cutting me off.

"Oh…" I said stopping mid sentence, "Then what are you talking about?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.

"You two seem to be really…really close…and it seems so sudden, like there is some sort of...connection between you two."

I tried not to show my surprise, "I don't know what you are talking---"

"Oh come on, Ginny!" she said tossing her arms up a bit, "There is something linking you two together, I am probably not the only one who wondered how he knew you were in trouble the day he came flying down stairs half naked to keep you from falling the day I arrived here!" she said and my eyes went wide. "And whenever you two are together it is like you are having a private conversation without even talking to one another!" I knew she was smart but no one could be that observant!

"I don't know what you are talking about!" I exclaimed a bit loudly and she grabbed my arm and hushed me.

"Look I am only asking out of concern for you, psychic connections are very rare and a very raw form of magic….if that is what is going on between you two then you need to talk to someone in the ministry about it! Or at least bring it up to your dad!" she said breathlessly.

I took a deep calming breath before Harry felt that something was wrong with me. "I know you are trying to help but there is nothing going on." I said and turned to walk away from her.

"Alright…but at least think about what I said." She said in a firm voice and then walked past me and back into the kitchen. Though I would have loved to tell her about this connection between Harry and I don't know if he would want anyone else to know about it. I sank into one of the large chairs in the room and rested my head in my hands.

I felt him walk into the room before he even said anything.

"Ginny? What's the matter?" He asked in a soft sweet voice kneeling beside the chair and placing a soft warm hand on my thigh. I took a deep shuddering breath and moved my head to look at him.

"What is this between us?" I asked, my voice shaking with the emotions I was feeling. Somewhere Inside my head I knew that Hermione was right, that this connection was something that could prove to be very dangerous and damaging to either he or I.

"What do you mean?" he asked , tilting his head to one side obviously confused by what I mean. "I love you."

"No…I mean…how can we talk to one another by just thinking it? How can you feel everything I feel and I you? There is nothing that I would not give to keep this connection but …but what if it's something…bad?" I asked wishing I could find a better way to depict my fears about our mental link.

"I don't know what it is…but why does it scare you now? It hasn't hurt us in the past few months---are you afraid that Voldemort will use it to his advantage?"

"No!" I said alarmed but then shook my head and rested it in my palms again, "I don't know…maybe…I just know that it is getting stronger everyday and soon I fear that my thoughts wont be my own but yours….I love you Harry but this is something that we need help with." I finished and looked down at him with pleading eyes.

"I know…you're right, love…I have been meaning to look into it, and I was thinking of asking Vaynel about it and just never got around to it. If you want to then we can ask him about it together tomorrow, alright?" he asked rubbing my back as he stood and I looked up at him before nodding slightly.

"Don't worry so much love, it will be alright…" he said softly and I felt a chill slip down my spine as he took my hands and pulled me to my feet and into his arms. I felt safe there in that moment, safe and warm against his chest, close to his heart.

"So are you going to tell me what happened last night?" I asked against his shoulder and he chuckled a bit before releasing me and then we sat down on the couch nearest the fireplace.

"Hold on, you can't tell her with out tell me!" Ron exclaimed as he , Hermione , and Mom came into the room. Mom was carrying her knitting and looked a bit angry , probably because she did not approve of him going to the raid or having him tell what was most likely going to be a horrible story to the rest of us.

Despite my mothers firm expression Harry went on to tell us in minor detail the events of his first raid with the Aurors. He told us how they took a port-key to the house , broke into two groups and then how he discovered it was the very same house that he had been brought to in his 4th year. At this point Hermione seemed to grow just as attentive as Ron and even sat up and leaned closer to hear the details about the house. Then as Harry told us about Malfoy attacking him I was more than a little surprised to feel the total hatred and anger riveting from him as he spoke. His hands clinched into tight fists and I could feel an animalistic rage through our connection, I touched his hand and his anger lessened and he looked at me with a grateful smile before he told of his ex-lover using the unforgiveable curse on him and Ron shouted his outrage.

"And to think you had actually once tried to save his sorry arse!" Ron said in anger as he put a protective arm around Hermione who was still looking at Harry with wide eyes.

"Anyway, Lestrange, Malfoy and the other Death Eaters escaped after that." He said in closing and I felt his anger ebbing away.

"Don't worry though, Harry I am sure you will get them next time." Ron said with a large yawn and received a snort from both his girl friend and Mom.

"So what time is everyone coming tomorrow?" I asked trying to change the subject, to which Hermione's color returned to her face and she smiled. "Dumbledore said that they should be here no later than lunch time, I am still not sure how he is getting all of our members here, but he said to let him take care of it so I am guessing he has some sort of plan."

"Well that is Dumbledore for you…he always has some sort of plan." Harry said and I noticed the bitter note inside his tone but everyone else chose to ignore it.

"I think we will start off with the lunch outside, weather willing , then we will move into the meeting. The best thing I think would be to just get everyone to sit down on blankets outside so then we can be sure that everyone will be able to hear and see us." Hermione said then continued going over the plans for the next day but only Ron seemed to be paying any attention for I was too busy watching Harry and Harry was too busy thinking hard about something that I could not read.

I still felt very uneasy about what Hermione had said about the psychic connections being raw and dangerous magic, but I felt better knowing that Harry had the same concerns she and I did. I felt bad for not being able to tell her the truth since I know she would be more than willing to help me figure it all out, but there are some things that I guess should just remain private between lovers.

Mom woke us up late, to which Hermione was livid about though she didn't say anything to her about it I could tell by the way her hair seemed to stand on end with electricity and how she was bossing Ron about like he was her personal slave but he didn't seem to mind and just did as she asked as she rushed to prepare for the large groups of students that were to arrive in a few hours. Mom didn't seem fazed by it at all and simply moved around her as though there was nothing wrong at all. Harry and Dad both seemed rather amused by the whole thing and only did what Mom or Hermione told them too and did so without asking any questions. By the time the students were suppose to arrive I thought Hermione was going to end up pulling her hair out!

First all of the chaperons arrived, most of which were aurors including Tonks, Lupin and Moony, who we keep seeing a lot of during this summer. The entire Weasley family was actually together for the first time in months, Fred and George had left their store in the hands of one of their managers, Percy had come along with Tonks and Moony , Bill had actually managed to get away from Fleur and work for a moment and sneak away to the burrow. Mom and Hermione were busy loading a large wooden table with different kinds of trays of sandwiches, cakes, pies, juices, and other things that they had made for the meeting. Dad and Harry were now talking with Lupin and Moony as they followed their orders to lay out large blankets across the yard. I sat back watching everyone together and couldn't help but think that this might be one of the last time we would all be together like this. I didn't have much time to think about this strange moment in my life where my friends and family were all together for once because suddenly everyone seemed very interested in the sky above the large field to the left of our house. All of us gasped at the same time as it seemed as though the entire sky was filling with very large kites! But as they got closer and closer it because very obvious that they were not infact kites at all!

"I thought those were illegal?" Ron said as he looked up at the large squares in the sky that were getting closer and closer.

"He must have gotten permission for this one time."

"How did he find so many?" Hermione asked , her eyes wide as she stood beside my bother, her own head turned up to look at the sky and the flying objects.

"Foolishness if you ask me! Easily spottable in mid day!" Moody said in a dark grumbling voice.

"I think it's brilliant!" Hermione said with wide eyes as the first of the Magic carpets landed in the large field and students began climbing off of them. It was then that I saw that each student seemed physically blend in with the scenery behind them.

"Disillusionment charms!" Hermione said in her still thrilled voice at the large amount of magic that had been used to get all of the students to the Burrow.

As more and more of the large carpets landed it seemed as though almost the entire school had decided to join in on this meeting, and there was not a face among them who did not seem happy to be there. On one of the final carpets Dumbledore himself appeared out of the magic material, his own body blending into everything around him. "Ah…here we are, everyone!" he said in a jovial voice and then with a wave of his arms the students became totally visible again and a cheer of praise at being normal again came up through the crowd of students.

The old headmaster made his way over to where Hermione and Ron were standing awe struck, "It's all yours , Mrs. Granger, Mr. Weasley." He said with a beaming expression as he walked over to the members of the Order of the Phenoix and struck up what appeared to be a light hearted conversation with Tonks. Hermione seemed to lose a bit of color but then held her head higher and told the students to help themselves to lunch then take a seat where ever they could find one.

Seamus, Neville, Luna and the other original members of the order moved over to Hermione and Ron and they began discussing what was to take place in the meeting that day. Harry stood beside them just watching and nodding when I guess he found it necessary but I could tell his real thoughts were on Dumbledore, there was something just on the tip of his mind that I could sense, something that angered him. Something he needed to talk to him about…I didn't want to push any further and go beyond my boundaries so I left it alone.

The meeting , I think, went rather well. I was actually very surprised by how well Hermione and Ron had organized it all. After eating and sitting as asked the students sat and waited quietly for Hermione and Ron to start talking. As it turns out Ron had spent all of his time during the summer organizing a defense for the school, he handed out diagrams of what everyone's instructions and responsibilities were should the school be attacked. It was actually a brilliant plan and they had obviously spent a lot of time working on it. Basically the middle class students, 3rd and 4th years who did not have the skills in Defense Against the Dark Arts necessary to be guards would take the 2nd and 3rd year students to a safe place, each place was different for each house and each had a secret escape route that Dumbledore had helped them find. The 5th year students would go and stand guard over the routes to the safety locations and the 6th and 7th years would either stand guard over the entrances to the castle, or make their stand against the attackers.

After that was done with Hermione, Ron, Seamus, Neville, Luna, Harry, Tonks, Lupin , Moody, and even Mom and Dad and I took a group of students to work with on defense spells. Then the groups switched and the Members of the Order took groups of the 7th years and started on some more advanced spells , this included Ron, Hermione, and even Harry and I. The 6th years then took the younger years and it went on in rotation until the sun started to set and it was time for everyone to leave.

The majority of the students seemed excited about the new spells they had learned and no one even groaned or complained when Hermione gave them all homework! For the first time it seemed as if Hogwarts was truly being united…except for the fact that there was not a single Slytherin there. For the way home though the many students did not go back by way of magic carpet , instead Dumbledore had arranged for a large amount of flew powder and sent them all back one by one through our very small kitchen and fireplace.

I was standing there watching as one by one the Hogwarts Army said good bye and thanks to everyone around them and then vanished into the fireplace when I saw Harry, out of the corner of my eye, stop the Headmaster and move outside with the old wizard in tow.

I closed my eyes and I could feel my loves anger, and his anticipation of what was going to come out of this conversation. I would have been happy to follow them and hear what was going on but I knew that if Harry wanted me to know what was going on he would have told me, that and Hermione was watching me like a hawlk the moment they left the house.

It didn't take long however…for mere minutes later Harry came storming back into the house and slammed the door behind him. There was something very frightening about the way he looked right then, his hair wild and his eyes nearly glowing a strange shade of jade as he looked around. The talking in the room died, only 5 or 6 students were left to be sent home not counting ourselves and for a moment Harry looked quite abashed at being caught in such a foul temper then he turned on his heal and stormed back out of the house.

"What was that about?" Bill asked from my right and I shrugged.

"I don't know…but whatever it is Dumbledore is lucky Harry knows when to walk away." I said with a shake of my head as I watched the headmaster come back into the house and walk over to Dad not seeming to be at all phased by whatever Harry said to him. Feeling my loves anger I moved away from Bill and towards the door that Harry had turned around and walked out of but just as I was about to leave someone grabbed me by my arm.

"What?" I said, turning to see Hermione there holding my arm, I tried to fight back the annoyance raising in my mind but the sad brown of her eyes held my tongue from saying anything I would have later regretted.

"Don't…he probably just needs to let out some steam." She said wisely before releasing me and I sighed deeply. Though I longed to find out what had happened between Dumbledore and Harry I knew that if he truly needed me he would have said so, or let me know some other way.

It's late now and everyone is asleep as I am writing this, I don't know when Harry came back to the house but I felt him as he did so not so long ago. He did not speak to me but I did sense that his anger had lessened quite a bit, but there was something new now inside his mind that troubled me, a curiosity. A question that I couldn't trace or pin-point. I guess I will ask him about it tomorrow.


End file.
